2009 -- go away

It must be another major national holiday approaching. All the TV news have got their second stringers on the job. The first stringers are all at home getting ready for next week's return. They are all boning up on their favorite, unfunny TV newscaster cliches. Maybe I am paying too much attention to all this? It has been a consistent time killer for me these past 10 months.

So here we go with another new year and of course it is being accompanied by bad weather. It's the daily double for those TV folks. We are supposed to get some rain and maybe 3 inches of snow or at least they keep telling us every 6 minutes. New Years has always been associated with crappy, cold weather for me. We never do much for this event because the whole world seems to be out and about. Plus there's something about watching the crowd in Times Square. I always think the same thing "I am damn happy NOT to be there"..I don't think I even know anybody who has ever participated in that and I've lived in NY most of my life..It's always the same types.
The young energetic drinkers and the tourists from Ohio wearing statue of liberty foam crowns. Those 2010 glasses must look pretty cool! The universal question is always - where do they go to the bathroom after waiting for 7 hours??

Yesterday they shut down Times Square for a while because there was a suspicious white van parked on Broadway. That meant NO traffic allowed on those streets and the occupants of local buildings had to (dig this) move to one side of their floor and stand until all was clear (which took hours).. BOY, do I miss the city. So they discovered that this van belonged to a food vendor. Luckily it didn't have any exploding knishes.

Thanks, Ted

I know I've mentioned some of my best Time Killing has involved TV watching - mostly sports and movies. I wonder what that does for me? Has it enriched my life? One thing I've noticed is that there are a load of classic movies I've only heard about but never really watched. That is until I found the Turner Classic Movies channel. There are other movie outlets like American Movie Classics but it's not as good as Ted's commercial-free channel which also has some very interesting mini-documentaries and background info in between shows.

I really enjoy movies and get to real theater(s) a few times a month plus I get a few disks a week via Netflix. I'm careful to be selective when going OUT to the movie theater so I bet I enjoy about 80-90% of those shows. Netflix is more like 50%. What I have noticed is that there were certain eras that the TCM channel follows and for some reason I found that the movies of the 1940s seem to be the most interesting - many I've heard of but never watched. I can recall my parents talking about many of the actors. I guess the 40s was fertile ground with that crazy world war going on..The good movies are not necessarily war-related. The landscape and scenery does look like many old pictures my parents had. Those Andrew Sister hair-dos and everyone seems to be dressed up in double-breasted suits, ties and fedoras. I guess jeans weren't invented or reserved for the cowboys in the Westerns (didn't care much for Westerns).. I also noticed that everyone was dressed up at sporting events - when did this change??? I know the last time I went to church it was like revisiting Woodstock - minus the mud.

After the storm

So the storm landed - almost on time I have to say. I gassed up the snow blower and the cars and bought an extra loaf of Wonder bread. This way we could hunker down and kill time eating toast while the world ended (it's not even 2012 yet). The TV bulletin interruptions never stopped and even the national news shows had their top stories as the weather.

It was predicted that we would get a foot or so and there would be high winds, low temps, no visibility. I kept our local shmocal news on figuring that would be more exact. We got about 3-4 inches and luckily the wind was minimal. We felt lucky even though the town seemed to be shut down on that Sunday. I went out to the local gas station/mart to get newspapers (they did run out of bread). There was nobody there except the clerk and hardly a car on the completely cleared road.

I have to say areas south of us (Long Island) did get two feet and it did shut down the place and today the trains are all delayed..(delayed Long Island Railroad trains are a common theme in my nightmares)..My feet get cold just thinking about it.

No sooner did the threat of STORM 2009 subside that we had to brace ourselves for the big (maybe not so big) Christmas day storm to land this Friday. I wonder how this is going to be marketed? Have they named it yet? Can they recycle the Home Depot footage? Will the main weather people have to work on Christmas day?? Can they re-run the interviews of the plow drivers? Will they make Santa's sleigh and Rudolph jokes? AND my biggest concern - will there be enough white bread?

Before the storm

It's hard to think of an event that might take the place of Holiday Hype in the media. One week before Christmas is prime time for all that. Every TV and newspaper ad is wrapped up with some kind of holiday connection (well, most of them I guess). Every cooking show has got holiday recipes. There are endless gift idea segments. Newspaper ads have our local car and appliance sales people with Santa hats on. This year I've seen vehicles with reindeer antlers hooked into the windows. Used to be just a wreath on the grill.

One of my least favorite scenes is when the local channels (they all do it) hype their news by wishing us all a happy holidays with the newscasters clad in a scarf and/or Christmas sweater. They usually pair a male and female together. Perfect hair, perfect teeth - perfect cliches.

OK, so I have time to absorb all this. I guess it's always been around but just not at this level of saturation. So what can top all this? I guess the Super Bowl, but that's not until February. Tiger Woods? I think that's already taking a back seat. The economy? It's not getting worse which is big news. Health Care? I'm sick of that. So what's left to lead the news??

The old standby is coming to town.. A good old snow storm. It's rumbling up the east coast and being treated like it's the second bombing of Pearl Harbor. It's the lead story on all news outlets. The video is all the same. They get those Weather Channel consultants to stand in snow drifts in Virginia holding a ruler in a drift. Locally you get the standard footage of the lines at Home Depot and those predictable interviews. Yes, buy batteries and shovels.. WHY, is this happening just hours before the storm hits..I've had the same snow shovel since 1977 and it works. AND, don't forget to stock up on bread and milk - yes, the old survival standbys. I was in the supermarket and it was starting to get picked clean.

The good news, they say, is it's hitting us on a weekend. I'm not sure that's best for me personally. As a professional time killer I'd be better entertained by seeing schools closed, commuter trains delayed (like they always were when I used them). Folks getting a free day off and sleigh riding while they should be working. That actually does bring back nice memories.

So let's see what happens as we are now hours from the first flakes. I'm going to follow up to this rant after things hit the fan. I will prepare for wall to wall TV coverage of snow amounts, plows scraping local roads and those once-primped newscasters standing on road sides.. uhhh, follow up on local coverage and doing a blog entry??? What could prevent that? Please oh Gods of the wind and trees don't let us lose power!!

Close shave

In an effort to try and accomplish something during my week all alone I thought I'd try something easy. What's easier than NOT shaving. Yeah, I wanted to see what kind of beard I have at this age. Maybe I will look cool or manly. It will hide some of my faults (well, not all of them). I had a beard in 1973/74 while stationed overseas. The Navy let you do things like that so why not give it a shot? I see pictures of that beard and it never looked too good. Too many bare spots.

I would have kept that beard except a few things came up. Our ship was making a port stop in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia and all sailors were cautioned that if you were going to go on liberty in that port you could not have facial hair. The reason, I swear this is true, was that only their fearless leader or grand poobah Haile Selassie could have the beard. He had one of those ZZ Top beards and kinda looked like Gunga Din. In any case I figured I better shave - not because I wanted to go ashore but I had to. I was in the ship's rock band - The Greenfields - and we were scheduled to play for (guess who). So I did shave and we did play at some kind of international war games meeting. I'm pretty sure Haile was tapping his foot to "Smoke on the Water." There were other forms of entertainment and I swear I DID see others with beards. I never got a clear definition on all that, however, it was just as well that I shaved.

Back to real time. I was taking a look at my daily beard growth progress hoping I'd wake up and feel like Chuck Norris. I realized a few things after day 6 or so. My entire beard is gray - big surprise so is my whole head. I was hoping it would fill in and look macho. Then I was watching a re-run of the Sopranos (something I do now and then as a key time killer)..There was this scene with Uncle Junior in a nursing home, unshaven and he had this crappy gray beard. I think I looked more like him than Chuck Norris (did Chuck Norris have a beard?)..So off with the growth. It was annoying the hell out of me anyway and I think it requires extra maintenance. It's easier just to shave every day and have that clean cut look. I wonder what Haile would have looked like unshaven?..He was overthrown 3 months after that show.

EXTREME Time Killing

I started this journey and Time Killing blog during the winter last February..The Super Bowl had just been played and we entered the vast wasteland of bland sports, crappy weather and cabin fever. It's truly a different feel this time of year. As a kid, winter felt interesting with the school closings, sledding, long school breaks and the holidays.. Those "holidays" now start wayyyyyyy too early. The hype starts somewhere around Halloween. Again, as a kid I don't remember feeling the holiday hype until well into December. This has to be the evolution of marketing. I'm glad I left that field.

So looking out the window and not being able to see the faded lawn which is now covered by snow, I am preparing myself for round 2 of time killing. This week is particularly challenging since I am all alone. My wife is in Florida so I don't get to see her for 8 days. I was thinking that I was going to have a Jack Nicholson in the "Shining" moment but I think I have better control. Plus, Jack didn't have 800 channels of HD, flat panel TV to keep him occupied. I try to limit my TV watching (some would dispute that as I was caught watching the game show network at 3pm). Hey, it was the Match Game PM championship from 1977. That Gene Rayburn was smooth.

So here I go into unchartered time killing territory with best intentions. I always like to feel I have accomplished something - even if it's minor. For example, today I am supposed to hear from the refrigerator repair man who was contacted this weekend to see if he could settle our latest need. (something is always broken). Our trendy, stainless steel refrigerator has been running too cold. I'd say averaging in the high 20s and maybe up to the low 30s. At first I thought OK, not a big deal. The mountains on the Coors bottles turn blue much quicker but as time wore on, the milk, soda and salad dressing all got lumpy from freezing. I opened the vegetable crisper this morning and I can see now how ICEBERG lettuce got its name!!!!

Here's Johnnnnnnny!!!

Blog entry 100

Today is December 1 and this is my 100th entry in the ever-popular Time Killer blog. I was thinking of highlighting some of my favorite time killing accomplishments, however, they are all listed in earlier posts and who the hell wants to hear them all again? Some were more interesting than others. I have my favorites so perhaps I will list them in the near future..Today's time killing was spent with a memory.

I always remember this date of Dec 1 when 39 years ago in 1970 I left my parent's house as a 19 year old to enter the US Navy. It was easily the biggest deal in my life up to that point. I didn't have much of a choice since I had already had an Army physical as the draft was in full swing and I was a few steps from having to live in a tent or worse go to Viet Nam. It was a surreal time and I didn't have a college deferment which left me vulnerable. My mother was on the verge of cracking up and offered to send me to Canada. She sent me to a few doctors to see if I had any kind of disability - fat chance at 19. I was prime to go - so the Navy it was. Clearly for me a better choice than the Army..

I remember that cold December morning when my sister and friend drove me to Fort Hamilton in Brooklyn to report in and get ready for my first airplane ride.. 19 and never flew.. My son at 19 must have taken 20 flights. Things were different. We headed off to Newark airport and flew to Chicago. I don't know what was scarier - the idea of boot camp or that damn bumpy ass flight. It turned out that boot camp was worse. Three months at Great Lakes Naval Training Center. They shaved my head, gave me a bunch of navy-blue clothes, sent my regular clothes home and prepared me to survive in the worst climate I'd ever been in. Sub zero and snow was on the menu all the time. Those Lake Michigan breezes at 3 am while shoveling snow were charming. I can remember being sick and coughing up blood. I never told my mother..

The whole military thing worked out OK so generally there was a happy ending after those four years. Today's memory prompted me to contact a friend I shared that boot camp experience with. Coincidentally, he lives only a few miles from me. He and I also got the same orders from boot camp to Pensacola, Florida for communications school so we were together for almost that whole first year..What is more of a coincidence is that he works at the same company that let me go.. He's been there more than 30 years..We've stayed in touch and seen each other a few times and I contacted him today to refresh his memory of this date..It is fun trading stories. We each recall things the other forgot..(push ups in the snow, the world's dumbest company commander, flip flops sticking to the frozen ground, learning to tie knots - for NO reason)....

We left that frozen tundra in Illinois many pounds lighter and ready for our next challenge - teletype school in the panhandle of Florida...It was 98 degrees warmer and there was no such thing as sunscreen...boy, we were tough!!!

Post 99 - Let's pig out

Here is my 99th blog entry fresh after the over-eating festival of Thanksgiving. Yes, another way to kill time stuffing our faces. It's been 7 hours since I ate and I can't even think of food. Is this normal? Is this healthy? We've been eating OUT on this day for the past five or six years and as good as the food is it's interesting to note that the dullest of ALL the food on our plates was the turkey. It's OK but it's not any kind of award-winning cuisine. I would have been satisfied with the great appetizers/salads/bread...my family agrees.

Glad to see our son has embraced our non-traditional quest on this day...It's just more fun for us to ignore the parade, go to a movie and eat at our Traditional restaurant. This year we flipped our agenda and saw a movie first - very non traditional. Hit the theater at 10 30 am and you may find about 12 people in a 400-seat theater. The movie, by the way, was fun family -- The Fantastic Mr Fox. No way to explain this one but I felt like I had taken LSD and was watching one wacky stop-action show which could have been called - Gumby goes ape shit.

Time flu by

I don't watch much TV news and even with that limited exposure I've seen endless stories about getting the much-hyped flu shot.. ohhhhh, yes the H1N1 (otherwise known as Hiney) shot. My Dr has asked me if I wanted one and you see ads for them in all the major drug stores. I was just in there the other day and felt a urge to bow to the hype but I didn't..

I have to admit I HATE seeing news reports of people getting shots. The camera always zooms in on the point of puncture (POP) and you have to watch some poor 7-year-old start screaming while his parent comforts him. I can recall the one time I took my son in for shots he didn't make a sound..(I guess I was proud - what a HE man?).. I've had hundreds of shots including those dreaded air gun injections in the military. They warn you -- "DON'T FLINCH"... I did once and it tore a very nice one inch slice in my upper arm. The worst experience was a bicillin shot in the hip to give you immunity against everything in the US Navy's universe. Everything except a sore ass/hip. That needle must have gone in 3 inches and hurt like hell. Our squad was supposed to go to the rec area and work off the stiffness.. I didn't go because I had "duty".. I was almost crippled for a week after that.. Did some serious limping through the obstacle course that next day..

As far as the flu, the last time I had anything close to that was during the 1976 Winter Olympics. I can remember this experience. I was a newlywed going to college on the GI Bill and stuck in my 3rd-floor walk up apartment sick as a dog. I recall the Olympics being on our crackling TV with a green haze on the screen. It was hosted by Jim McKay and he was wearing one of those dickie turtlenecks. He was on the screen all the time and my wife and I used to race each other to the bathroom which should have been an Olympic event on its own. We called it the McKay flu..There were no flu shots back in that time period..Doubt it would have made a difference...

My throat is scratchy.. Hide the turtlenecks...

Whiteline fever

Just completed the ultimate time killing by going away for a week and completely changing all my current daily habits for that time period. Took a drive from here (NY) to Virginia and North Carolina and learned some things in that week:

You know you are somewhat retired when you are eating at a Cracker Barrel restaurant at 1pm on a Tuesday and you fit right in with the general age group AND your hair color matches everyone else's. (Tuesday is meatloaf special)..The food is just fair but at least the menu is simple unlike all the new fangled rib and nacho joints..

Rest stops while driving are really governed by bladder control. It's best to try for the triple play stops - Food, Gas, Pee.

GPS is a great technology. I was wondering how the hell my father found Pennsylvania in 1957 without guidance. The voice commands are nice but sometimes you feel like you're listening to HAL in 2001 a Space Odyssey. You develop a relationship with that damn robo voice over the course of the trip. You feel guilty when you stray (for good reason at times) from its direction. RECALCULATING, RECALCULATING...

I learned when I lived in Arkansas that New York license plates basically say - Yankees in motion. Don't even think of doing 1 mph over the posted limit when south of the Mason Dixon line (an actual line). Some good time killing keeping an eye out for da PO-lice.

It's somewhat relaxing knowing you don't have to get back to a job at 9 am the next day..Maybe that's why everyone at Cracker Barrel was taking their time and taking advantage of free refills.

Why is it OK to eat french fries with every meal when you're traveling?? I don't even like those stupid things. They come with every meal. There should be a surgeon general's warning on the side of each serving "Sweat pants are required"...

Rap it up

OK.. I have to admit I did watch a bunch of the Yankee celebration parade. Most of the attendees were about 18 thru 26 and did their share of screaming "Yankeeeees, number ONE, baby"..It was easier to watch on TV than to mix it up with the estimated one million fans and swirling paper.

The highlight for me was the parade end at City Hall where the Mayor gave keys to the city to all the players, workers, owners, announcers, trainers, etc. All that was OK but the best part was when they were done they introduced rapper Jay Z (however you spell that). I thought he was going to get a key but I was wrong. The music kicked in and he started what they said is the new NYC anthem "Empire State of Mind"..(did somebody alert Billy Joel?)..The tune is mostly Jay Z rapping which was OK. He had a female singer who added to it. Not to sound too old..it just didn't seem to fit the occasion (OK, maybe that's just me).

Many of the players were moving to the tune but the best part were the front rows where the many Steinbrenner family members were doing their best to get in the groove. There were at least 3 middle-aged women with astronaut-wife hair dos who were just waiting for the music to stop. I swear I saw rolling eyeballs. Mayor Bloomberg looked a bit out of place too. And I think the director had a sense of humor because he kept showing these non hip-hop types. It was must see TV..

I am wondering if it IS the new anthem and it's played at the end of every game if Jay Z can change the opening lyrics to "Start spreading the newwwwwwwwws"? I can't picture Frank Sinatra singing this with a hoodie sweatshirt ...

114 wins

I just realized what a time-killing exercise it has been this year watching all those entertaining NY Yankee games. Yup, 114 wins (103 in the regular season and another 11 in the post season).. I am guessing I saw 90% of those games on TV including some of those summertime weekday games. Those were the "unemployment specials". I did make it to the new stadium for one game vs the Tampa Rays.

I was very happy to see the great outcome of the Yankees' 2009 season. They had provided a very high level of entertainment for me. SO now what?? I no longer have the comfort of tuning in 5-6 games per week and listening to the familiar voices. No more post-game wrap-up talk on TV and radio (Yankees have their own TV channel). Perhaps it's time for a break but now what??? After last night's victory I realized here is 5 months or so of alternative sports. Sure I like football but NY has 2 very average or below-average teams and jeeesh it's only once a week - usually Sunday. Plus to be honest I don't have a feel for football strategy. Well, not to the extent that they discuss on the endless pre and post-game shows.

There is basketball. I try all the time to watch the Nets and Knicks but it just doesn't hold my interest and there never seems to be any drama until the last 3 minutes - which can take up to 20 minutes in real time. I've also tried hockey and like basketball it just doesn't click. Plus I always remember my father's assessment of hockey. "Too many damn fights with refs just standing around watching".. I played some hockey as a kid but I fell through the ice once and it ruined my zippy new figure skates.. Besides what kind of doofus wears 'figure' skates to play such a manly sport?

Tomorrow there is the big Yankee parade at the Canyon of Heroes - a downtown street/area re-named for such monumental events. There have been a few great baseball celebrations including the Mets in 1969 and 1986 and a slew of Yankee parades (too numerous to detail) and the NY football Giants.. Of course there have been other events - astronauts, war heroes, Lindberg, Queen Elizabeth...

Should I stay or should I go? Should I stretch that good feeling and head downtown? I have the time..then again there is going to be a lot of public urination.. Maybe there's a good hockey game on...

Fun to run?

Last Sunday was the NYC marathon. Never having any skill or urge to run, I watch amazed that somebody can run 26 plus miles in under three hours. This ranks with one of my least favorite time killers in that I feel way too guilty watching an event like this. So this year I watched while jumping on my home treadmill (not to be confused by the ones I don't use at the gym). I felt somewhat involved while chugging on a 5% incline at 3 mph (whew, I almost broke a sweat after 24 minutes). I calculated I may have made it half way across the Verrazano Narrows bridge. Imagine quitting at that point?

So after the extreme treadmill experience and to justify my continued race viewing I lifted weights and convinced myself I am really cooking with those 15 lb dumb bells. Meanwhile I am watching these 122 lb skeletons run like lunatics through Brooklyn. I finished up my guilt-killing routine with 100 sit ups. Ahhhhhh, now I am ready. Somebody drape an American flag over my shoulders and put that leafy crown on my head.

What made this a little bit worse (to refer back to an earlier entry) is that we had about 80 or so Moon Pies and only 25 or so trick or treaters. So there are 50 plus of those chocolate treats in the house. I asked for them to be relocated to a needier family. I think that's been done but who knows. I looked up at the sky last night while bringing out the garbage cans and there was a FULL moon. That sight used to make me think of the opening of the old Honeymooners TV show but now it's just a floating harvest Moon Pie..!!

Full moon pie

So Halloween is now a few days away. I guess that's the start of the holiday season and for me in my time-killing mode it's a new experience. Not much to do for Halloween except buy some candy and make sure you're at the house to answer the door. That really kills the evening. You do have to keep an eye on the property to be sure no vandalism is taking place. As kids we never did much destruction as long as we got a response and some candy. Our neighborhood here is pretty tame. We lost one or two mailboxes in the 20 years we've been here. I always kept an extra on hand.

Being home now, it's important NOT to stock up on any candy which would be too accessible. Since I'm the food shopper I have held off on getting the candy so I am safe and willpower is not an issue. Well, that's what I thought. Somebody else who shall remain nameless purchased a bucket of MOON pies. Yes, the original marshmallow and cracker combo with chocolate covering which became an evil treat when I lived in the south. The northern version of the Moon Pie was a Scooter Pie which didn't compare to the original. The Moon Pie is like an industrial strength Mallomar. This bucket full are the mini size but still a decent size snack. So what does all this mean?

It's Operation HIDE the MOON PIES.. I am not sure where they are. Usually we get candy that I don't like such as Starbursts, Skittles and licorice. I am not going to look for these Moon Pies but I would like to save a few for Thanksgiving dessert.

Power Hungry

I was reminded of some recent time killing as I read my last blog "Seasons"...I recall not being quite ready to post that and it shows, however, it was a day where our electric power was shakey so I hit the publish button before I lost it (yes, I should have saved). The power went down seconds after I published that and I was now ready to kill some time in the dark. It seems that we have no stability when it comes to electricity up here in Hooterville. As soon as you hear a report of windy you have to be prepared - get the batteries and candles. Hell, if you hear a report of "breezy" you have to brace yourself. And, it's not just wind. We've lost power in standard rainfall, snow storms and basic thunder and lightening.

Not sure of the reason for all this but there are a zillion trees around here. Would be nice to see all the wires go underground - keeps NYC from losing power so often..

Back to powerless time killing. What to do without power? All depends on whether it's day time or night time. If it's cold out you will soon start getting chilly (in the dark). You hope you don't lose food in the dead refrigerator. Of course there's no TV or computer but that's not the worst. When you have well water that is driven into the house by a submersed pump and there's no power you have just entered the DO NOT FLUSH zone (DNFZ). You're stuck with just the water that remains in the pressure tank (God knows how much is in there).. Over the years and the many black-outs, that has created the most annoying problem. Many people have gas powered generators. You can hear them chugging all through the night just so they could tinkle..

In the mid-90s we had the mother of all snow storms (in April) and lost our power for five days. There were three of us in the house and we slept in front of the fireplace to the cozy sights and smells of a Duraflame log. In the morning we all went to work/school shower less but raring to embrace the sound of an industrial flushing toilet!!

Seasons?

I started this latest time-killing journey last February in the midst of a typical winter. I guess it was typical, I just can't remember such things. I should keep tabs on how many times my snow blower gets used - like notches on the handle. Spring wasn't memorable for me either. I remember it being cold and summer never really got going until August when we had 2 weeks of tropical weather (that everyone complained about)..As quickly as it arrived, it left. Was good to have central air for that time but it wasn't really needed otherwise.

So here I am watching football which is in its 6th week. Leaves are almost all down. Halloween is coming soon and many houses are decorated and there are Christmas ads everywhere (that always gives me the creeps)..Yes, get your tickets now to Radio City's big holiday show. Be the first one to see a camel take a dump live on stage. I've never seen the show.

The best part about this time of year (for me) is baseball's post-season action. And, it's extra special because those crazy Yankees are in the mix. I'd watch if they weren't in it but it's a real bonus when they are in the hunt. Last night's game ended at 1:20 am. In a weird way I am glad I didn't have tickets since I did look into that. I wonder what I missed? I'm pretty sure no camel took a dump on the field..

Twit wit

When I worked and killed time at a corporate desk it was important that I knew what was going on in technology - it was a focal point of my job. I think I did OK considering I was an outcast Mac user in a company with 98% pcs and their dreaded windows operating system. There were many times where my outcast Mac-user group had to adapt to a windows world. Most times we were compatible but there were some glitches. From what I hear they are still suffering from incompatibility.

It remains important to stay current (I think) with software, hardware and technology. It's easy for people my age to become a dinosaur or a technology-fearing Luddite. I still have to use my former company's interfaces to get info, register for benefits, get my many, many PINs & communicate with them. I've had some glitches and worked them out on my own keeping me from the dinosaur cage. So I feel like I keep current, email, blog and most recently - twitter...

I have to admit as I read many twitter logs, I had trouble following the thread. Most of those twitter tweeters are folks a bit younger so I figured I was just out of it.. The same way I feel out of it when I watch the Today Show and the musical guest may as well be from Mars as far as I know - and they have thousands of fans crammed into the plaza. So I discovered that I wasn't that twitter ignorant. It turns out as I read this one log that the "greyed out" link was actually a connected link to the topic at hand.. AHHHHH, I found the Rosetta Stone and this finally makes sense..Greyed out type (to me) was always a dead end - I stand corrected

I've been bombarded in the past months with Face book requests. I registered and accepted many a "friend". It's pretty simple to follow but I have very little interest but I seem to have a lot of friends which I guess is good. Some of them twitter...

So now that I have twitter figured out, the question is should I participate and let the world know about my time-killing exploits every half hour?? Let me think about that - I DID just buy a toilet auger today and I could give progress reports on its efficiency!? Stay tuned...

News flash - moon dud kills time

I was sure to be watching the TV at 7 30 am today because there was a week long hypefest about this rocket crashing into the moon. This was to churn up traces of matter including water to further investigate just what the hell we got up there. I figured (as the Today Show did) this was going to be a Grucci-like display of sparks, dust and cool plumes broadcast LIVE. After all, 40 years ago we watched those moon-walking Apollo astronauts jumping off the ladder, riding in the golf cart and posting the American flag. It just wasn't must-see TV today. There was nothing to see

It seems, however, that the mission is on target and results of the blast should be available soon. Unfortunately it did knock the news of Barack Obama winning the Nobel Peace Prize off the front page (for a moment). The most positive result I can see is there was no Letterman updates today but there IS a picture of him on a major magazine cover without his pants on. One small step for man...

Brush with not so greatness

Where would we be without our celebrities? Even if I try to ignore such "Entertainment Tonight" style of news I find that time killing is still filled with such things. Every week there's something new. Some is interesting, some is sad & some is fun. It ranges from Michael Jackson to Jon and Kate to the latest and most surprising - DAVE, we hardly knew ye.

I've been a fan of David Letterman forever and with my new schedule I am able to see his show now and then - well, at least the beginning. So last Thursday night I was watching while drifting off and thought he was starting some kind of off-beat gag while talking about his sexual escapades. I wasn't convinced it was real so I went to the internet which had nothing which was odd. The show tapes at 5 30 and the telecast is 6 hours later.. You figure the media would have had a heads up. Doesn't matter as the news was out soon enough.

By the weekend the NY tabloids were having a field day. You just knew he was going to be a target after dishing out much of the same criticism over the years. The odd thing was that the next evening's show made NO mention of the "event". That Friday show is actually taped on Thursday so that was a factor. CBS didn't seem to have the same level of coverage of some of the other networks, however, the CBS Sunday show had a piece.. A piece on Paul Shaffer. Dave was part of that piece and showered Paul with all sorts of praise. I think Dave knew this would air in the midst of his troubles and he seemed very contrite although nothing was mentioned.

I was remembering when I had a tour of the Letterman theater as I have a good friend who worked at CBS News and we had special access. It was a real highlight and I remember walking around the stage as the band was rehearsing a Beatle song. It was surreal for me..I never did get to see Dave's love nest as it is on the 14th floor. I don't think many knew about it.

I wonder if tonight's top ten is going to be something like " Top Ten Reasons To Keep Your Worldwide Pants On"....

Turn Blue - Part Two

Was wondering what kind of blog/time killing topics would be available now that the Fall is here and there is just a general reduction in life's activities. My activities are pretty much the same except I am actually looking at job possibilities. More on that as it develops or stagnates.

Remember the last entry about the News 12 report on the guy who had the heart attack? I had just re-read that yesterday and was wondering how many times somebody has a medical need at health clubs like that. I figured it must happen now and then. I notice that there is a fair amount of older members - the same age or older than me. There are lots of classes for this age group. I see them being led in very low impact exercises. I never thought of joining that group as I am not that needy (yet). They all have a chair and raise legs and arms - pull bungee cords - march in circles all to music.
All safe and probably beneficial.

Today was typical. That class was going on and I could see through the window. I always wonder if anyone breaks a sweat. It's mostly women and they don't really have workout clothes. They dress like Marie Barone on Everybody Loves Raymond. I moved away from the window to the Nautilus weights area. I had the area to myself which I like. I can take my time and move over to the next cycle. Oddly, as I was in mid-cycle, an elderly guy (OK, elderly is like 65) sat on the piece right next to me - right where I was to go to next. I took my time figuring he'd be done soon. I was wrong.

I thought he dropped something as he was now on his knees on the floor and put his head under the seat. I ignored it. He then rolled on to his back and curled up under the seat. mmmm, I'm now getting concerned. I had an iPod loudly playing the Allman Brothers which I now shut off. I wasn't sure (DUH) if something was wrong so I just stopped with my reps, turned off my music and was just about to ask this guy if he was OK.. Too late as one of the many employees came over and saw this.. I had this weird feeling he felt like I was ignoring the guy..There was soon a cluster of muscular employees surrounding this guy who was now flat on his back with his legs raised and a tint of blue to his skin. By this time I had vacated the space figuring he needs air and what the hell am I going to do? I exited the weights area and went on to other things. This guy had some crowd around him now..God, just what you'd want. It reminded me of my ultimate fear of dropping dead in Penn Station or worse yet ON the train. OK, if not dropping dead then having to use the rest room.

By the time I left the building there were TWO ambulances parked out front and there were more on the way - I had to pull over to let them through. Where is that hero nurse when you need her? I will check news 12 anyway.

As local as yokel news gets

The gym I go to has TV monitors on most of the equipment including bikes, treadmills, etc. I find this to be a good distraction as do most since these TVs are almost always in use (with headphones). I never know what to watch since the whole joint can see what you're viewing so god forbid I have on something inane like the View or Jerry Springer.. I have on occasion watched the Price is Right but mostly I watch the MLB network or a baseball game rerun.

On this day I switched over to our local news channel. This always seems to be channel 12 in most areas. My reason for tuning in was there was news that UN meeting attendee Moammar Gadhafi was preparing to camp out in his tent in a neighboring town to us (Bedford). I had heard something about this on a late night show and just assumed it was a joke. It was no joke and I assumed this would be the lead story - it wasn't.

They went to commercial and their teaser was about a man who had heart attack while working out at a local health club. I sat through the commercial figuring this victim was in one of 100 health clubs in the county and then the Gadhafi story would be on. They come out of commercial and they show this guy's picture and I recognize him since he's on the same schedule as me. I didn't know his name but they did say it was our local gym where this guy went down and turned blue. The story (the HOOK) was that there was a nurse on a treadmill nearby who ran to assist and started CPR. She got him breathing again and EMS was on the scene shortly. The film in the news story had the guy, the nurse and a number of gym employees around in the hospital celebrating the good fortune.

Now remember I had my TV on this local channel (12) and apparently nobody else did. It caught some employee's eye (a trainer) and she and a few others stood around looking at this report over my shoulder. I had headphones on but I could hear them discussing and I assume they hadn't seen the report.

Coincidentally, (my HOOK) I had just started my pulse monitoring which is available on the bike I was on. I had been working hard for 23 minutes and I thought my pulse would have been in the 100s. It was 78 and I wonder if the trainers noticed - probably not. I guess I have to figure a way to get that heart rate up without turning blue and winding up on Channel 12.

Keep moving

I've been trying to incorporate my doctor's advice into my daily time killing - keep moving, he says.. I guess I know what he means. I suppose it's like a shark not being able to survive if it stops. I do better on days I am active - even with some aches and pains like I had yesterday after four sets of tennis. I knew to stop at three but I didn't want to be Joe buzzkill..

I knew later that evening I had to be at the big championship game of my softball team. I had been looking forward to it since our team rose up from 3rd and 4th place to be the top contender. How did that happen? How about we dropped the median age of our players from mid-50s to mid-20s. We have lots of sons of our original players who are now old enough to play and work and have their own children. It was a great game and we went through all the rounds of the playoffs without a loss. My expert coaching and score keeping MUST have been a factor. At least it required no Advil but I did classify it as a moving activity - as per my doctor.

We won the game and the championship by a margin of 6 runs. It was just a local town softball league but we've had this team for 20 years and our last title was 8 years ago. This was a real highlight in a year of economic collapses, unemployment, enlarged aortas and expensive oil tanks. I will miss it and look forward to next April.

Our routine after a win (or a loss) is somebody brings beer and we have a few in the parking lot. That's usually OK even though drinking in the park is illegal. It's fun to watch some of our team members/town officials hide their beer bottles as the local police drive through. We never got busted but it would be quite a local scandal which would be sure to make our local yokel paper. Last night was a big event so a group went to a local watering hole. I went along but I was the senior member as it was all the young guys who obviously have a great resistance to alcohol. Again I didn't want to be Joe buzzkill but I knew after a bunch of parking lot beer and tavern beer and shots that I didn't want to be on this Saturday's episode of "Cops"..On my drive home I was rehearsing how I'd respond to the police if stopped..""I know it's late but you gotta understand, my doctor wants me to keeeeeeeeeeep movin!!""

Alert: nap time today - 2:30

blog a palooza

Did some time killing exploring of other blogs. It's a real test of my attention span which is why I try to target mine for those who don't want to be reading these damn things for 28 minutes. They start to remind one of those whacked out, tedious holiday newsletters we all get. If you're going to write something make it brief and interesting - there goes my book proposal.. And, while I am at it, please don't forward any more idiotic jokes. I find one in ten amusing - never enough to re-forward. Also never assume that your political, religious or sociological stand is shared by everyone. The odds are you are offending somebody..

I took a look at some blogs I'd heard about - including one from a former co-worker. It was too "officey". Not like the TV show but just like ....'what do you say to your boss when.....' Probably make some good greeting card fodder. I wish I had gotten in on the ground floor of that greeting card business. I think it's too late now.

There are endless topics which are being blogged about. I just wonder if there are enough readers. I don't know how many readers I have - I personally know most of them. They don't always comment in the "comments" area but usually send me an e mail or make a phone call. I guess I should promote my blog but I'm not sure how. Perhaps I should start addressing some controversial topics? Not my style. I guess I hope for somebody to read one of my 80 plus entries and direct me to write a pilot OR maybe a short column in the Pennysaver...

My favorite blog is being written by somebody I know very well (my son). His photo blog has been highlighting the many New York City neighborhoods. He features one every weekday and has exclusive photos and nicely formed text. I learned more about NYC sitting reading this than I did working there for 35 years (then again I never left the building unless there was an evacuation)...I make it a point to check it out everyday.. If you have any interest, here's the URL - http://www.nyc-grid.com/.

And, if you know anyone who wants to develop a TV pilot be sure to let me know.. I just can't see myself working at Home Depot.. I look lousy in orange...

9/11

Today is the 8th anniversary of that Tuesday in September of 2001. It would have been just another forgettable workday like so many others but it's now etched into the memory forever. Today, like on every anniversary, they read the names of the victims. It takes a while and as it goes on it becomes an emotional undertaking.

That day started out as a regular day at the office when we started getting reports about a plane hitting the World Trade Center. Many of us just assumed it was a small 4-seater who lost its way but as info started coming in it was obvious this was bad - real bad. Our huge office building was considered to be a "target of opportunity" before we knew that there were such things. This day started a whole new mentality and vocabulary thanks to some lunatics. We had to evacuate immediately and we met - as per plan - at a local midtown Manhattan park. People were confused, upset and scared. I saw a woman who worked for me crying and it was then I realized her brother worked for Cantor Fitzgerald on one of the top floors - he didn't make it we later found out. It started to become very real after that point - this was no Disney attraction. The smoke rising from the 2 towers was visible from the intersection of 5th Ave and 42nd St.

A co-worker and myself made our way over to a friend's apartment on Park Avenue where we watched the TV for updates. Of course there were no trains or buses thus no way to exit the city so we just watched the screen in horror. I can recall the first tower collapsing and feeling the floor in the apartment rumble - quite an effect.

I made contact via e mail with my sister in North Carolina. For some reason she was the only one who I could contact and she did her best to advise family. My wife was somewhere in Pennsylvania on business and my son was soon to be released early from school. I wasn't sure how I'd get home that day. Many people just started walking. Manhattan seemed like a movie set with hoards of people on the sidewalks and streets. I made contact with a friend at one of the TV networks who drives into the city. He was there and had his car but he was officially on duty until further notice. His son, however, worked nearby and was going to take the car and head home - I was offered a ride.

As I walked over to where the car was parked - a good 1.5 miles taking me through Times Square - I was able to walk in the middle of Broadway since there was no auto traffic. I also saw fighter jets flying up and down the East and Hudson Rivers. I could look south and see the smoke since now both towers were down. Even though I was in a hurry I stopped and looked around to remember the scene. Sounds corny but I remember thinking "Ugh, this is OUR Pearl Harbor"...

We got to the car and had the West Side Highway all to ourselves. No cars except for police and fire. We got to a security checkpoint before the tolls and for some reason - later to be determined we had NY Press license plates - they let us go through. It took a while but we got home and watched TV for the next 48 hours. Talk about time killing? Nothing lighthearted about this though..

Uptown Wed night

What's the best way to kill time on a basic week night - movie, TV, softball?? On this night I finally got down to the new Yankee Stadium. Coincidentally, it was a big night for the team - specifically for Derek Jeter (more on that later)..

I guess I became a Yankee fan when I was a little kid. My parents were Brooklyn Dodger fans. They talked about their times at Ebbet's Field but then that team moved to California. When I was growing up it was the Yankees who just won year after year. I used to watch their games in black and white on rabbit ear TV -- usually on weekends. I also remember listening to some of the World Series games during weekdays at school (sneaky transistor radio trick). There was no NY Mets at this time - at least not until the early 60s - so it was Yankees all the way..

I remember really enjoying a couple of Yankee movies in those days. One clunker I really liked was the Babe Ruth story starring William Bendix (also the star of the TV show Life of Riley).. You could tell Bendix wasn't a lefty like Ruth and he just didn't seem Ruthian - but the damn movie was entertaining. The more sophisticated movie was Pride of the Yankees starring Gary Cooper. This was a much better movie and actually had the REAL Babe Ruth playing himself. The movie was about Lou Gehrig whose name is now associated with that dreaded disease named for him.

So Gehrig's name had now been in the news every day since Derek Jeter closes in on his all-time 'hits as a Yankee' record. We were lucky enough to be at that exciting game last night. We bought these tickets a month ago not having any idea it would be a historical event (ok, so maybe historical is pouring it on a bit). In any case it was very entertaining. The new stadium is really incredible and a must-see for anyone.

Even my anti-crowd issues were under control as the place was so well organized you never felt crunched..The field level seats had mucho leg room and were cushioned (like super cushioned). Could have sat through any extra inning event.

We took the train down to the game. We experimented since there is a new train stop at the Stadium. It was very convenient - a touch expensive - but well worth it to me. The ride was very peaceful on the way down and as we got on the return train it was almost empty ---- ahhh, just my style. We walked through the cars looking for a 2-seater that was completely isolated so we could enjoy our trip in solitude. As we walked though this one car - in our Yankee regalia - some guy (obviously bombed) started yelling at me "TELL ME RIGHT NOW THAT YOU'D RATHER BE A MET FAN --- TELL ME..I'M RIGHT - AIN'T I?" .... I didn't even slow down and had no time to explain my baseball background. Nor did I tell him I rooted for those crazy Mets in 1969 and 1986 while my Yankees were dormant ... I just agreed "you may have a point".. This drunken bastard LOVED my response and I went to the next car and peacefully ate my M&Ms...

Survey says!!

As part of my continuing time killing quest I just discovered that one of my 850 cable channels is a game show channel. I guess I always knew it was there but I never watched it. Mostly it's a bunch of old games shows - Password, Pyramid, Match Game. They seem to have been taped somewhere between the 70s and maybe 80s. You can usually tell from the fashion styles and the set design. Lots of browns and oranges. You can also tell the time line by what kind of prize money is available. These days people can win way more on Jeopardy, Survivor and Amazing Race but you have to be willing to risk your life or embarrass the hell out of yourself with a one in fifteen chance of winning, however, one million seems to be worth it to the contestant.

Of all the old shows the one that stands out as the weirdest (to me) is Family Feud - the original one with Richard Dawson. Richard, as you recall, was known for his role on Hogan's Heroes. I think his name was Newkirk and he was very British. On the Feud he was known for his cutting comments, his expressions but most of all for his kissing of all female contestants. NO woman escapes his smooching. You don't see that on any of the newer version of this show. There's been a bunch of hosts since Dawson and none of them kiss. Ray Combs didn't kiss - but he did kill himself; That gray haired Peterman guy from Seinfeld was pretty normal and the other guy Richard Karn from Home Improvement. No kissing allowed.

What stood out to me on the original Feud was the amount of money the family of 5 can win. Usually it was $5,000 and when they won they reacted like they were on drugs - went crazy, fanatical, jumping, yelping, hooting and hollering. Let's sort through this. That's 5 people or $1,000 each after taxes maybe $750 or less per person. Maybe they get extra if they act like idiots? Sort of like the current Jerry Springer guests who - I am convinced - get paid for fighting and ripping off their clothes and spitting out their dentures.

There are other shows that have equally smallish dollar amounts. The Match Game was kinda cheap and looks to have been shot in the 70s (or earlier?). And this show and others had celebrities I never heard of. Maybe I knew them 40 years ago from their episodes of The Love Boat. There is one connection, however, the most popular celeb guest on The Match Game was Richard Dawson ------ LOOK OUT - he's puckering!!!!!!!!

The Sting - well, almost

Not sure what happened to summer. We had an abbreviated version - 9 or so days in a row where we needed to run AC but mostly we had mild days and lots of rain. Who cares? Maybe Al Roker, I dunno. I was reminded today that this time of year is when my late mother used to like to visit and enjoy the cool breezes of September. This was after coping with the intense Florida heat for 6 or more months. I can't see how people function down there in summer. I was stationed in Florida in 1971 and experienced the white sands of Pensacola which meshed so nicely with my freckled skin. I don't think sunscreen was invented yet.

This is good deck weather. Perfect for time killing and reading. I know I need to read more and the deck provides the perfect light. I seem to need more help seeing and this helps. I even have reading glasses now which I've avoided since getting my first pair of regular glasses as a 12-year-old.

During the summer months the insects (mainly wasps) were all over the place. I killed a bunch but still as I settled into my deck chair I tried bravely to ignore the kamikaze-like attacks of these yellow jackets. If you ignore them they will ignore you. I remember somebody's mother telling me that when I was a kid. There is some truth to that I guess but still I've been stung a few times.

So today I was out there killing time and reading with total confidence that the yellow jackets checked their calendars to see it was now September and they should be building their winter nests or dying. Whichever they do best. I felt confident turning pages, feeling the cool breezes and watching the leaves just start to turn - it was very pastoral and relaxing. I reached for my small cup of OJ I had on the table and took a sip. The glass was about half full and as I took my sip I felt a tickle on my lip.. oy veyyyyyy.. Want to see a relaxed man act like a lunatic? Damn wasp was helping himself to some Tropicana and I flung the cup and almost fell out of my chair. He did NOT sting. He (I guess it was a he) had no chance as I spasmodically swung my arms and retreated into the house - safe and sound.. BUT the joke is on that damn bug - the OJ was mixed with MiraLax - a fiber powder laxative. Let's see him leave the hive tomorrow!!!!

Tennis anyone?

I've mentioned before that I've been playing softball for most of my adult life (weather & season permitting) and I've been phasing this out. I've also mentioned that I enjoy the interaction the games provide even though I've been stuck to the bench like a piece of chewed gum. I voluntarily sit out because the youth movement has taken our team to new heights. I feel I am part of this even though my only contribution is to coach first base and tell 20-year-olds who run like the wind to "take second".. I always look like I know what I'm doing. Well, then again I also send out e-mail game reminders and keep track of who's going to be there and who won't. I lead the team in administrative skills.

So besides needing more exercise I need to keep the Time Killing at an acceptable level. The last 4 or 5 Mondays I've been playing tennis with some other non-employed friends. This includes my wife who IS employed but has Mondays off. Luckily she has taken on the role of my doubles partner. She is a slightly better player than I. OK, since she's reading this, she's much better than I. The good news is I've been improving each week which is good because I like to win. One of the keys is to play others who are at your skill level. So far that hasn't been hard to do.

I can remember playing tennis with my father when he was about my age and he used to complain about having no "life" in his legs. I always used to wonder what he was talking about and thought he was just kidding. I now know what he means since running around isn't too easy. I feel like I have two broom sticks for legs. Luckily tennis requires short bursts unless you're tracking down a lob. I've been trying to play up at the net to cut down my running but now I enter a whole new zone - sluggish reaction time. Gotta work on that. For now I'll let my loyal partner do the running, keep practicing and time killing. Is there any running in golf?

Tanks for the memory

How does one kill an entire day and improve the environment? This isn't a riddle. Today was the day we scheduled the removal of our oil tank from underground in front of our house. You can't sell your house these days with a tank underground for fear that it's leaking. No lenders will lend and no insurance companies will insure. The biggest fear of all, however, is IF there is leakage you have to have an EPA inspection along with a cleanup. I've heard many a horror story so naturally I delayed doing this thinking that would actually make it better.. I had heard about people spending up to $75 thousand to clean up contamination.

We had a yard full of trucks including back hoes, front hoes, nasty hoes and about 6 workers. To their credit they seemed to be very coordinated and hit the different areas in teams. It was like an immunity challenge on "Survivor" without the Tiki lights. I tried to stay in the house and let them do their work but my neurosis wouldn't allow me not to check out every rumbling noise coming from the driveway or the boiler room. Overall it was very interesting to see how the job went. It was somewhat what I expected but more coordinated. Certain guys showed up during the day, did their part and disappeared.

Before we could fire up the new tank we had to have it inspected by our town engineer. He was late but luckily one of the tankmeisters knew him and got him to come by so they could continue the project and we could re-gain hot water. We passed that inspection fine and the new tank was filled with fresh oil - Texas tea, black gold..Things seem to work fine and we had minimal damage to our yard which needs reworking anyway..

The main guy told us we should have bought a lottery ticket this day since we actually dodged the bullet and had no leaks in our tank. He said that about 70% of jobs have leaks which require a clean up. Jeeeesh, I am glad I didn't know that beforehand. I would have pictured some kind of crazy hazmat team camped out in our yard checking all the dirt molecules and a taxi-style meter running as they did their sanitizing. So now I guess we SHOULD buy that lottery ticket since one of those wacky megaball, megamondo lotteries is now at some kind of $158 Million dollar level..Just how the hell DO you buy one of those and can you pad your order with a slurpee?

No Internet on Interway

I know I've realized that I (and many others) are very dependent on Internet connectivity. I just had a reminder when we lost our connection for almost 24 hours in a storm-related mishap. Ten years ago that would have been an inconvenience. Today it's a bit more than that. When you realize how many functions one performs with the web - including email - you start to wonder what your options are for these functions AND the all important time killing. Can't do banking, can't order tickets, can't check weather, can't check movie listings, can't read the NY Times, can't certify unemployment. Just like the pioneers..unhitch the horses!!

As a fail safe I can use my iphone which has very reliable Internet connectivity a la Blackberry. I use it to check e mails when I'm away but for me it's a bit clunky trying to return a message that has more than one sentence OR checking the web browser. I think that is generational as my son seems to have no issues with that mini keyboard and can text the Gettysburg address in 2 minutes. And since I was a trained US Navy teletype operator I stand behind my 85 wpm final test with a cast on my wrist (another story). On the iphone I make a mistake every 3rd word. Needless to say, I need my cable connectivity.

As a side note and on theme with time killing I must have spent at least 2 hours trying to re-boot, re-start and analyze the problem with the dead web. For the first time ever I called our cable provider. This was the most automated system I've ever heard. I can't believe the variables they've programmed in there - "If this doesn't work, please say HELP ME RHONDA and we will continue to another step"... It was spooky cavorting with this robotic tech at the cable company, but here's the kicker. I finally got things working after taking a shot at rebooting a second blu ray router I have hooked up BUT before I followed the robot's latest reboot directives I had to Hang Up. This because I have cable phone and as soon as I reboot the modem the phone cuts out. So, use your iphone (or cell phone) to do this. Isn't this where I started?

You can't go home again?

Took a trip back to the old neighborhood (Long Island). This falls in the category of a major time killer - an all-day affair. When you visit the Island you just expect traffic and we got it. Figured a weekday would be the best bet - was busy but I'm sure a weekend would be worse.

I can recall my parents driving into their old neighborhood (Brooklyn) and pointing out their old haunts. I was born there but it may as well be the Moon for all I know about Flatbush. I just remember the cobblestone streets and my mother nervously driving some kind of monster Buick with Dyna-flo.

As we've done a few times in the past and on this Long Island venture, we visited all our old houses. The constant is that there are changes and in some cases many changes. Even our basic starter home (Cape Cod) is now a new color, has a bunch of skylights, different landscaping, new windows and a significant privacy fence. Overall it looked good and the neighborhood looked better today than 20 years ago when we left. It's just strange to see how little room there is in-between homes. I can recall our neighbor's teen-age son sitting on their back stoop talking on the phone and we could hear every word as he could almost rest his legs on our stoop.

The changes in the other neighborhoods were significant. Interesting what vinyl can do to a home. We visited and photographed my parent's main home which is barely recognizable. It used to look like a combination of the Alamo and a Taco Bell. Now it just looks like an old stucco home trying to be hip and modern. Saw some other friend's homes and they were equally different (except for a few)..

Growing up we spent almost every summer day at either our local beach, in the canal across the street, out in our boat or over at the ocean. The ocean could have been Tobay, West End, Zack's Bay, Gilgo or Hemlocks (an undeveloped cove with great surfing on the ocean side). I guess this explains the current need for constant dermatological appointments. I think I paid the price for a sunburn I got in 1966.

We did drive to Jones Beach during this trip and went to the big daddy of all parking lots (4) and took the long walk to the water - not fully prepared for swimming of sunning. During our days on Long Island we never went to field 4 - too crowded and too much noise. This was our only choice now.

Out of all the points of nostalgic interest, we felt a real resonance when we visited our first apartment. Many memories from 35 years ago - sort of like a "Barefoot in the Park" scenario I guess. A 3-story walk up in this converted Tudor building built at the turn of the century. It had a dumb waiter, no bedroom, a sliver of a kitchen, a pink and black bathroom and a broken front door which was held together with some plastic wood provided by our non-handy landlord. I felt safe though since who the hell is going to rob us and haul our stuff 3 flights down?

The building was mostly boarded up on this day and looked to be under renovation. I was wondering if they were going to go Vinyl.. Vinyl is final.

Dog days

Got a strange call the other day. I have been in the habit of not answering unknown IDs on my calls but since switching phone service it's not always clear who the caller is. I have to resolve that. I do get a lot less calls (ironically) since switching to the cable phone system - they have nothing left to sell to me.. This call comes in as a recording to alert me to a neighbor's lost dog. I guess it's like a kind of amber alert for dogs 0r other pets.

In the true spirit of time killing I took the time to write down the information and I realized I had no idea who the neighbor was who was just identified as Michael - no address. It did provide a description of the animal and its name (Mackie or Matilda or Merkel). Good thing I was paying attention. I am not a dog owner for many reasons but I do like them and afterall I DO watch Whale Wars and feel sorry for the hunted mammals by those Japanese whalers. So if I can help in this effort I'd feel somewhat satisfied.

There was a web site with the dog's picture. Now this was more my speed. I didn't recognize the dog and I do see a lot of our neighbor's pets - solo and on-leash trotting down our always empty street. I thought if it gave the owner's address I'd have an idea. I would have gone out in the car and done some research - oh really, you say????? Let's be honest, I hope this guy finds his dog but unless this pooch strolls up to my front stoop, rings the door bell and does a Lassie impression I won't be much help.

Hot time killing

The summer finally settled in after thinking we'd have a few more months of breezy, cool days. It's finally hot as you'd expect in August except this past weekend while in Maine the cool days prevailed and no AC required. The Maine weekend was fun as expected and the change in routine was also welcome. The official Woodstock anniversary is this upcoming weekend, however, we did acknowledge the landmark date by comparing notes and remembering that time we spent upstate in 1969..

Back at time-killing ground zero I resist the urge to watch the TV and get going on some of the projects I have which include writing, clearing out the garage for a new oil tank installation and being here for the refrigerator repair guy. Keep moving - even in the heat - is the new mantra.

We noticed yesterday while sitting on the deck that our fake "scarecrow" owl has now become Grand Central Terminal for nesting Yellow Jacket wasps. I had an urge to take the top off to see what was inside but stayed away and will do the deed when the sun goes down - whenever that is.

To enjoy free, heavy duty AC we saw some movies including the new Julia Child (Julie, Julia) piece. Overall it was pretty good but I couldn't help but think about the premise. Julie, a big fan of Julia, writes a daily blog about each one of Julia's cook book recipes which she cooks and comments on. Now this took place in 2002 and I guess blogging wasn't as developed as it is now. God, even I have a blog. Julie was getting a huge response - I guess people like French Cuisine more than time killing commentary. Book publishers and literary agents stormed her voice mail and email after reading about her project in the NY Times. I was hoping for the same thing but all I got lately was a well done on a piece on Woodstock I submitted to Car and Traveler - the AAA monthly magazine..I shall persist..

Forty years ago today

The year 1969 had a lot going on. You had the bizarro moon landing, the surging NY Mets baseball team who eventually won the world series, Vietnam and the draft lottery and Woodstock. Our neighborhood group on Long Island was graduating from High School that summer and four of us decided to attend this music and arts festival somewhere upstate. I can remember seeing all the posters and newspaper ads for this and figured it would be a great way to see all these performers in one show. It did require camping for a few days and besides sleeping on the beach now and then this was new to me. At 18 it didn't much matter plus I was heading for the military and figured I may want to get used to tent life. (this adventure ultimately influenced my decision to join the navy and avoid tent living)..

Our group of four went up to this town of White Lake, tickets in hand, in one guy's father's brand new Dodge Charger a few days before the concert started. We brought some food but figured we'd just buy food at the concession stands. We got to the site and there were some people arriving. People from all over the country were showing up in all sorts of vehicles. There was plenty of room and we set up camp behind the stage area. As we got closer to showtime the crowd was growing. The campground we selected went from plenty of room to almost no space between tents - just enough room to walk over to the port-o-sans (made famous in the Woodstock movie). This was my first up close and personal look at the hippie nation - painted buses, groups from all over the country, naked swimming and drugs. It was quite a sight and experience.

The shows started that August weekend and I can remember sitting on that hillside and hearing Richie Havens kick off the show. The crowd at this point was really building and by that first night the NY State thruway was closed. I was wondering how our parents were reacting but after all we were part of history. Not eating, but part of history.

The performances were legendary and as I recall the sound (for 1969) was pretty good. We could hear much of the music from our campsite and there was a projection screen so we could see much of it (reversed). We got through the rains and the helicopters dropping food supplies - uncooked pasta and some kind of K-rations. The concession stands were not functional and the crowd had taken down the fences which did make this a free concert - so much for our tickets. We did wonder how the car was - parked on the side of the road or what was once a road.

Having seen most of the acts I think by Sunday with hunger and dried mud as our main motivators we decided to head back. Step one was to find the car which we did. It was in tact and as the music continued we started heading south. I know there was a ton of traffic and I can remember listening to non music radio as we wondered what the world was saying about this event. We didn't stop until we were safely back in our town. I remember wanting to stop somewhere upstate to get some food but we got back to our home town and a familiar diner figuring we'd eat before seeing our families. I remember ordering some food and milk.. I gulped the milk and it was spoiled and I mean LUMPY spoiled. I drank the free water and waited till I got home. At least the guys walking on the moon had Tang!

How does this relate to my Time Killing theme? This August 2009 weekend three of the four of us (maybe all four) will be getting together after forty years. We did the same in 1989 after twenty years which was captured on video tape. We all dressed the part in hippie garb and coincidentally our real estate agent brought a prospective buyer to view our "for-sale home" during the party. To this day, as captured on tape, I think our retro clothing and behavior helped sell that house...That guy thought we were nuts.

Publish or perish

I guess I should be used to being by myself. I am during the daytime but not usually at night. Well, I am currently on my own as my wife is away and I am well trained to fend for myself, however, time killing has taken on a new dimension. I guess it's the tuna salad and Yoo-Hoo in the refrigerator..(solo food)

My theme in this blog has been and will continue to be how a victim of downsizing spends (or kills) time. I figured it would be amusing and unique. I wasn't sure if the theme had been explored and actually wondered if there was a book publishing opportunity - of course I'd have to expand the entries since I cater largely to the short-attention span reader (just like me).

So in today's New York (Sunday) Times there was a full-page article on how employed people spend their time versus how unemployed people spend their time. So much for the uniqueness of exploring Time Killing. The article was interesting as expected. Of course the unemployed spend more time sleeping, watching TV and going out in the afternoon. There was a large graphic showing these differences. Sometimes I think I am graphically challenged since the chart, to me, was convoluted or at least not easy to digest. The key is that there are other people thinking about this topic. I'm saving the page to revisit and show others and maybe get permission to reprint in my book.."MY book".. is that wishful thinking? What will be the title of the final entry?

Spare time

I've commented on my declining abilities in playing softball and accordingly I have reduced my playing time. I do like physical activity which is really a productive time killer. Working out and swimming at the gym fills some of that time but it's not what you'd call fun. One day I'd like to take up golf but it doesn't come naturally to me. That doesn't seem to stop the majority of golfers I've seen at driving ranges and golf courses.

So what else is out there? Basketball (never that good - too much running); Hockey (you need ice and huge gloves); Lacrosse (not a weekend sport for the middle aged); Soccer (foreign to me); Tennis (possibly..played recently and did OK. Would like to play more doubles)..There are other "sports" like jogging, boxing, karate & dodge ball - but who cares?

So that takes me into one of the possibilities. Our 3-person family was together this weekend to celebrate a birthday and we decided to go bowling!! Yes, bowling. Mmmmm, time killing potential I think. We actually have the equipment as we had been on leagues years ago and there are a couple of local bowling alleys. Caution - when you go to "open bowling" on a rainy weekend you may have a few kids to deal with. The lanes are now controlled by computer scoring and automatic "bumpers" that pop up when one of those cute six year olds KICKS the 6-lb ball down the lane. They don't always reach the pins. I used the kids' free-for-all behavior as an excuse for my mediocre performance, however, I still did have fun.

Not thinking of joining a league or anything drastic but I would like to find some time to go bowl when the median age is over 14. I guess you have to go at night but then I've seen they turn out the lights for midnight bowl. I'm not sure if you can consider this a sport as you can drink alcohol while playing and it actually improves your performance. Speaking of which I have to mention our family's youngest non-regular bowler bowled a 144 (ok, not a great score but he had 5 strikes)..Damn, those bumpers really work!!

Triple play follow up

You may recall from a few weeks ago I was bombarded with calls to sign up for Optimum on line's phone service. I gave up at that time and signed up and was told "you ain't gotta do nothing"..well, not completely true. Two weeks after that call I had a visit from the Optimum/Cablevision installer which brings me into today's Time Killing.

You always wonder before a service man shows up how the call will go.. I had my doubts that this cable phone installation would be as smooth as they promise. I had my visions and of course most didn't surface. The truck pulled up at the end of the promised time frame (which is OK as he called earlier)..I was prepared to do Nothing even though I had in my pocket a schematic of our cable hook-up scenario (my son prepared this).. I didn't show the guy right away as he said he had to do a special hook up with a second modem in the garage. OK, here we go - holes in the house, split cables and electronics subjected to the elements. Turns out that we didn't have to do that since I did find the elusive phone jack outlet in the living room. I felt like an idiot that I didn't know where our phone jacks were - jeeeze, that's my job. Turns out the installer was relieved and appreciative as he had been arguing with the dispatcher about having to set up this special garage scenario..This made me sweaty as at that moment I had no tv, no phone and no internet..I knew to be patient but the sales promise of not having to do nothin' wasn't quite accurate.

I found jacks, I ran wires, I moved furniture, I logged on to the web for the tech and cleaned up.. OK, big deal. I couldn't just sit there and this guy had a very good disposition and handled many of my inane questions with patience and assured me all will be well. He also had a thick Irish brogue which gave the whole thing a sense of lightheartedness as in "sit down laddie, you don't have to do nothin.'"

Survive this

I have to admit that a part of time killing involves watching too much tv. It's gotten worse with the technical advances in hi-def resolution. Even the crappiest shows look pretty good. There are some re-runs I like (Sopranos) that seem to be bloated or artificially stretched to accommodate the HD "look". Everyone looks like they gained 40 lbs and became bow-legged (I wonder if anyone ever noticed that?)

There's so much on TV now it's hard to not find something to watch. There are all sorts of categories including sports, movies, reality, games/contests. There are also those one-hour dramas that have initials that everyone screws up - CSI, SVU. There are some oddball genres of reality that I've run across...I've seen enough of those crab fishermen yanking in those damn crab pots in the Bering Sea. Yes, it's interesting but every show seems just like the last one - engine trouble, the greenhorn who needs to hustle, the captain smoking too many cigarettes, the ice building on the deck, empty pots, giant waves knocking the hell out of the crew, etc. There IS a point to that, however, since they can make a ton of money for 9 days work so risking their lives makes some sense. It's the same for the Ice Road truck guys and the crazy loggers.

The latest time killing discovery is this show Survivorman. I kept seeing it listed but never took a look. It's what you think. They drop off this nut in the middle of nowhere with a boy scout knife, a flint and a video camera. There's no safety net and he agrees to survive for a couple of days without getting eaten by alligators or grizzly bears. He has to make his way back to a pre-determined point of pick up (if he can).

I have to admit to being mildly entertained but I had NO sympathy for this guy. He asked for this and I assume the Discovery Channel is paying him something but there's no point in doing this.. I guess people say it gives you a sense of accomplishment. Of course this guy eats anything on the ground and we are supposed to be impressed. OK, It's true, my idea of roughing it is staying at a Motel Six without an elevator OR going for the final video challenge question on the Cash Cab (now there's a show)..

Not Avon calling

One of the rarer time killing events is when someone rings your doorbell.. This is something you are oblivious to when you're at your "job"..Sometimes it's just a courtesy ring from Fedex or UPS as they drop a package - no need to respond...Sometimes it's a neighbor which is always welcome unless they are giving away kittens..AND, sometimes it's some kind of petition signing which always makes me suspicious as in the end they want money to save trees or whales. (I killed three trees myself this year alone)..The most recent and awkward bell-ringing episodes have been the religious types..

Having been raised Catholic I just don't know much about religion or the Bible so when I answered the door last week and saw two very churchy women I knew they weren't selling cookies or saving whales and I felt uneasy about discussing the possible apocalypse. They had their pamphlets in hand which they offered but I think their goal was to spread the word and maybe get a donation for those 12-page booklets that resembled my catechism booklets I had as a child..

I wanted them to go away but I didn't want to be rude. I asked myself the question "what would my mother do?".. that didn't help so I listened and refused the booklet. I almost said something about the signs in our neighborhood that say "no solicitation" but I didn't want to seem obnoxious. They soon got the message that I wasn't a good target and wished me well. I felt OK about that and they went on their way..I wondered what the other neighbors would do.. I felt the urge to peek down the block. I figured that was the end - I figured wrong..

A few days later I saw two more bell ringers as I was in my garage.. I don't think they saw me so being the grown up I am I ducked into the house and laid low as the doorbell started to ring. I couldn't bear to tip toe through another 4 minute sales pitch and trying to be polite. It was the best thing for me to lay low in our family room looking through the crack in the blinds.. While waiting I was dusting the window sill so I felt efficient..I also felt like I now needed to go into the Jehovah's Witness protection program!!

Matinees

I think one of the better time-killing discoveries is how nice it is to go to the movies during the daytime. Now I don't just mean taking in the 3pm or 5pm showings (which are nice) but the 10 30 or 11 am early discounted shows. Being an early riser, it's never an issue to get to the theater by those morning times and now I even have my wife (and faithful movie companion) acclimated to this same schedule. I know she doesn't share the save aversion to crowds but indulges me since I seem to do better when my neuroses are at a low level. Something so nice about a theater with 6 people in there. There is NO chance that there will be coughing, talking, seat kicking and inappropriate laughing. I may have touched on this in earlier entries but it is a big part of time killing this summer.

We were curious to see this bizarro movie, Bruno. I was surprised my wife wanted to see it so I was on board for the 11 am show yesterday. As expected, about 11 cars in the 16-theater parking lot, no ticket lines, no food lines, no ticket taker and of course the requisite 6-8 people in the theater. It turned out they all laughed in the appropriate places. There weren't a ton of laughs but when there WAS one, it was intense. Overall the movie was worth seeing (I won't go into details)...I just caught a discussion of the movie on the beginning of one of my least favorite shows - "Let's all talk over each other and interrupt the hell out of each other" otherwise known as "The View"..To hear Barbara Walters' review of this movie was comical.. they should add it to the movie's ending.

We've seen quite a few matinees this summer as my wife and I now have some of the same weekdays off (yeeeehaaaa for the floundering economy). To supplement these pleasant outings we also have one or two Netflix movies waiting to be viewed most times. We've yet to watch these during daylight (Matinee) hours but these blu-ray beauties are ready when we are and they meet all the neurotic criteria...no lines, no noises, no seat kicking, coughing, etc..Just need one of those 'Tony Soprano' Movie/Media rooms with the cushy chairs and popcorn machine...Nobody dares to talk, cough or kick your chair in that room!

You don't gotta do nothin'

As expected, the Optimum (Cablevision) sales person called again today. Just for the record, I missed the morning call as I was out and knew that the 3 pm ring had to be HIM. I thought when I answered he'd spout something like "well, it's about time." No such luck. It was one of those sales office auto dialers when you answer there is that 5 second delay until the seller gets on the phone. I'm sure he had no idea (as previously stated) that he'd called me over 200 times.

So I decided to give it a shot. I realized that this person was the same person I spoke to a few months ago. That wasn't a good feeling because he was unable then to answer some of my technical questions. I even said to him we'd spoken before. It didn't phase him. He probably speaks to 84 people a day like me. I gave him an "A" for effort and a C+ for execution. I corrected him on my name pronounciation (for no reason) at least 3 times.. I gave up on that and I also asked him to stop hyping the overkilled rewards program where we can see a free movie (only on a Tuesday) once a month at certain theaters..There were other perks too but I just want all my crap to work correctly. I don't want to kill any time waiting for service calls..

I'll cut through the details (which I like to do).. The overall package will clearly save me some money ($100/month) so that's why I agreed to it. I gave up on the tech questions and figure I'll talk to the installer when he comes here in 2 weeks. I was assured that they (Optimum) will take care of all the landline cancellation and transferrence of my existing phone numbers. To quote my main man -- "You don't gotta do nothin"... Ahhhhh, that's soothing..

rrrrrrrring, it's US

I have had no less than 200 calls from our local cable company (Cablevision) trying to get me to sign up for their "triple play" deal which includes TV, Cable and Phone. I have two of the three and I have held out on the phone service.. (I heard things)..Since I've been home I have had the time-killing opportunity of looking at the caller ID and if it's Optimum (Cablevision) I don't answer. Now it's become an obsession, however, I am thinking of switching over to save $100 a month on my useless landline carrier..I keep thinking, OK, I will answer next time they call. Well, they called about 25 minutes ago and I didn't answer. I need rehearsal time to ask all the key questions. I'd love to know how much money they've spend on their recent advertising campaign. It's all over the TV - in multiple languages, newspaper and radio, inserts in the freakin Pennysaver and of course direct mail brochures..I am wondering when (and if) I answer their next call if I can riff with the sales person..

"Sayyyyyy, you called me more than 200 times, do I get some kind of annoyance discount?" I'm sure they will be responsive and sympathetic. I actually DID talk to someone there about 3 months ago and he couldn't answer one technical question I had so my fear of change kicked in. Sure, I've got cable phone now but my DVR stopped working and my internet is flakey. I need to have better answers..It's a crap shoot who answers and a bigger crap shoot as to who shows up at the house.. (damn, and I will have to hide all my illegal splitters or bribe the tech to stay out of Optimum jail).. Oh, God, there's the phone now... stay tuned..

Betty, we hardly knew ye

Oh to have the time to watch the Michael Jackson memorial. It hasn't started yet and actually I am not planning on watching. I'll wait until it's covered on the "Soup" to get the real details..OK, so of course the Today show is promoting this - they are out in LA and have reporters all over the place. One reporter - whom I've never seen - filed a report of where MJ may be laid to rest. He was in front of some kind of Pine Lawnish building and said many celebrities were buried there. He ran down a list of names of Hollywood elite including Betty White (Hollywood elite?).. It caught my attention for some reason. The reason? I just saw Betty White on Super Password and I actually thought mmmmmmm, the last of the Golden Girls and the great Sue Ann Nivens from the Mary Tyler Moore show. So when I heard she was dead and buried I wondered just how recent this Super Password show was.. Perhaps her death was upstaged by the passing of Karl Malden??

Betty Lives.. Trusty Meredith Viera popped in and apologized. That reporter was meaning to say Bette Davis was buried there..Phew, that was close..

Lights, camera, nausea

Going to the movies is a standard time killing undertaking for me... We usually take one trip to the theater each week - if there's something to see. The last few weeks we saw some good science fiction (not my favorite) in Star Trek; action movie in The Taking of Pelham 1, 2, 3; comedy in Whatever Works by my favorite director Woody Allen. All these were entertaining and I took something from it. Today we switched gears and saw a new documentary (I love documentaries). This one was titled Food, Inc.

It was an interesting, informative movie about everything that goes into the foods that we eat. I knew what I was in for and purposely didn't buy any M&Ms going into the theater. It does seem that most of what we eat is corn based. I think you can make anything out of corn - even diapers and batteries. There was plenty of footage of slaughterhouses where cows, pigs and chickens met their untimely ends. You may need to divert your eyes as they decapitate the chickens in some kind of Willy Wonka-esque head removal machine.

There were the usual villains in a story like this who naturally refused to be interviewed. I was hoping to hear from some suits from Monsanto, Tyson and Perdue. I'm sure Frank Perdue or one of his surviving sons could have lightened up the mood of this morbid reality check. Their current TV ads are so warm and fuzzy with their chickens who they named..Picture their prize hen Hazel sliding into the decapitator and having her throat cut, having her blood drained and a farewell wish from one of the boys "see ya at KFC, Hazel."