Somebody once threw a cliche at me about how retirement is a lot of work. I wasn't sure what that meant. I figured retirement was like what you see on TV commercials. A grey-haired couple walking on the beach with their dog while wearing brightly-colored sweaters. (I've yet to do that)..I think what they may have meant by "a lot of work" is the administration of getting yourself situated regarding pensions, savings, social security and health insurance. It seems to be that more paperwork is required here than in the pre-retirement phase of life.
I've never had more folders and paperwork on my desk than I do now. It's a big part of Time Killing. One form seems to lead to another. And, GOD, don't forget your damn PIN or PINS. We have a Rolodex with all our PINS. Ten-years ago I should have established ONE damn PIN and used it for everything.. Well, I did try that but as time went on Pin requirements got stricter -- at least 5 letters, 2 numbers and not your birthday or SSN. Speaking of social security numbers --- that damn number is used for everything..I have 5 of the same number in mine. It often gets a comment - "nice poker hand there"..
We recently rolled over my old 401k into an IRA.. How's that for trendy? I've done that before and it was very simple. This time was different. I saw an ad in the Sunday NY Times (full page) promoting how easy it is to do this rollover. (I could have had the Dog Whisperer do this)..There were some complications (not worth mentioning) which led to multiple meetings, conference calls and mailings. Lucky for us we did have a terrific contact who helped with every step. We are getting near the completion of this..After all, it is our life savings we had to put in a safer haven..It's interesting to see how customer focused one can be when dealing with moolah and potential commissions..I wanted to ask our rep. what kind of piece of the cheese she gets.. I'd never do that even though SHE has all our info..
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
Monday, October 18, 2010
"Was Beauty Who Killed The Beast"
Had a tourist outing with friends this past weekend.. Lots of sightseeing, walking, subwaying and eating. All of it fun and entertaining. Well, almost all of it was fun. When I was a school kid on Long Island we took a few trips into the city to museums and the grand daddy of all attractions - The Empire State Building (ESB)..I can remember shooting up quickly with classmates in a very large elevator to the gift shop on the 86th floor..I can also remember looking over the side and thinking that heights wasn't my thing but it was fun. I bought a ESB thermometer which was on my dresser for years.
So, fast forward to our weekend outing which had the ESB on the agenda. I had my doubts and almost blew it off but I didn't want to be a KillJoy (is that a word?)...What a poorly run side show. There didn't seem to be any restrictions as to how many people they can jam into the endless lobby levels..After the first hour of being in an over-crowded line I thought we were close - wrong..During this time and into the second hour we were victimized by hype meister sales people trying to sell us "express" tickets to go right to the top. Hey, only $47 a piece...These official sales people were at almost every turn. Many desperate types took advantage and seem to go to the next lobby of sardine tourists..
OK, so now it's too late to back out and go against the flow back to the street. And, we paid our $20 a piece and did the Disney World line shuffle for another hour getting us closer to the elevators - or something that looked like elevators giving us hope. Strangely the workers/ushers were all dressed in old-style uniforms including Ralph Kramden caps and brass button maroon blazers. We were looking at anything to amuse ourselves as we followed the velvet ropes to the next abyss. At each turn there was always hope.
At last - elevators. OK, here we go. Pack 'em in. Don't move your arms. Say something funny as your mood is 'elevated'. Watch the digital floor number read out. Hold it - we are getting off at floor 80? What the hell? Yup, get back in line you Lemmings. There is another elevator to take you to 86. That took some time. Back to the mysterious snaking line and velvet ropes. Oh look, some of those express pass people are right with us. There's $47 down the drain. Oh and don't let me forget that they took EVERYONE's picture at one of their choke points. That was soon after going through airport-style, belt removing, x-ray security crap.
Finally, we get to the 86 th floor. There were so many people you couldn't move. I was hoping to see a sign like 'Occupancy by more than 12,938 people is prohibited'.. To add to the fun, one side of the observation deck was closed due to high winds..oh yeah, it was like the top of Everest without the Sherpas. We just spent close to three hours to spend 10 minutes up there. I was relieved it was over. It was the Time Killer of all Time Killers. I could have watched Avatar and had a leisurely meal in that time.
If you want to have a good ESB experience - do the King Kong/Faye Wray thing and climb up the side. So you swat a few planes and risk your life. You can look in all the windows and decide where to enter...Better than an express pass.
So, fast forward to our weekend outing which had the ESB on the agenda. I had my doubts and almost blew it off but I didn't want to be a KillJoy (is that a word?)...What a poorly run side show. There didn't seem to be any restrictions as to how many people they can jam into the endless lobby levels..After the first hour of being in an over-crowded line I thought we were close - wrong..During this time and into the second hour we were victimized by hype meister sales people trying to sell us "express" tickets to go right to the top. Hey, only $47 a piece...These official sales people were at almost every turn. Many desperate types took advantage and seem to go to the next lobby of sardine tourists..
OK, so now it's too late to back out and go against the flow back to the street. And, we paid our $20 a piece and did the Disney World line shuffle for another hour getting us closer to the elevators - or something that looked like elevators giving us hope. Strangely the workers/ushers were all dressed in old-style uniforms including Ralph Kramden caps and brass button maroon blazers. We were looking at anything to amuse ourselves as we followed the velvet ropes to the next abyss. At each turn there was always hope.
At last - elevators. OK, here we go. Pack 'em in. Don't move your arms. Say something funny as your mood is 'elevated'. Watch the digital floor number read out. Hold it - we are getting off at floor 80? What the hell? Yup, get back in line you Lemmings. There is another elevator to take you to 86. That took some time. Back to the mysterious snaking line and velvet ropes. Oh look, some of those express pass people are right with us. There's $47 down the drain. Oh and don't let me forget that they took EVERYONE's picture at one of their choke points. That was soon after going through airport-style, belt removing, x-ray security crap.
Finally, we get to the 86 th floor. There were so many people you couldn't move. I was hoping to see a sign like 'Occupancy by more than 12,938 people is prohibited'.. To add to the fun, one side of the observation deck was closed due to high winds..oh yeah, it was like the top of Everest without the Sherpas. We just spent close to three hours to spend 10 minutes up there. I was relieved it was over. It was the Time Killer of all Time Killers. I could have watched Avatar and had a leisurely meal in that time.
If you want to have a good ESB experience - do the King Kong/Faye Wray thing and climb up the side. So you swat a few planes and risk your life. You can look in all the windows and decide where to enter...Better than an express pass.
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
Extra Innings?
Need to get away from recent animal-related time killing experiences...Had a new non-animal event to report. We signed up with a large brokerage firm to handle our nest egg (my favorite term) for our retirement. We had a long meeting the other day and reviewed everything you can think of. The financial planner/adviser created a plan for us and sent it today - as planned - as a PDF via the internet. It was a large file..
It was early afternoon and I had the baseball playoff games on as I started my download. It was the first inning of game one (an important benchmark). I went to the link in the email which had all my "stuff".. the full recommendation of what to do with our nest egg. I used our login and PIN info and was asked for my SSN which it rejected (there are many theories why but I can't bear to repeat them)...I had NO access to the file since now I was Locked OUT for making too many mistakes.. I hate that. I'm usually good with this kind of computer crap..This company, like others, have way too many layers of security..
I gave up trying to login and called their tech support line. I got a youngish go-getter type so I felt a sense of relief. Well, short-term relief. I had experience with his type from my former job. He was talking PC-talk and I am a Mac user (shouldn't everyone be?)..I was used to this as I was in the vast minority of Mac users at my old job (maybe 25 Mac users and 20,000 PC users). Young Brad tried all sorts of crap and I was suggesting alternatives. He put me on hold..Here comes the Muzak..
This was the longest on-hold experience I ever had.. I was sure he forgot me OR (could it be?) he was in India, a la Outsourced. I was humming along to the Muzak hoping this recorded call would bring me fame. Lots of Mozart strings stuff. I was making up lyrics to the classical stuff. I was amused and sure I'd never get my info until a bonafide IT propeller-head got on the line. Remember the game? OK, now it's the 5th inning!!! If I had known this was going to take this long I would have peed. If I leave the phone I may miss the tech support. Bladder pain!!
Finally, I got a direct line into tech support super central who did what they always do. Logged me off and created a whole new profile, new PIN, new password, new fingerprints and DNA and walked me through it . Finally success.. Great, it's been over an hour, the game - Tampa/Texas - is in the 6th inning and I have decided to pee sitting down and read my 29-page retirement report.. ahhhhhhhhhh...
It was early afternoon and I had the baseball playoff games on as I started my download. It was the first inning of game one (an important benchmark). I went to the link in the email which had all my "stuff".. the full recommendation of what to do with our nest egg. I used our login and PIN info and was asked for my SSN which it rejected (there are many theories why but I can't bear to repeat them)...I had NO access to the file since now I was Locked OUT for making too many mistakes.. I hate that. I'm usually good with this kind of computer crap..This company, like others, have way too many layers of security..
I gave up trying to login and called their tech support line. I got a youngish go-getter type so I felt a sense of relief. Well, short-term relief. I had experience with his type from my former job. He was talking PC-talk and I am a Mac user (shouldn't everyone be?)..I was used to this as I was in the vast minority of Mac users at my old job (maybe 25 Mac users and 20,000 PC users). Young Brad tried all sorts of crap and I was suggesting alternatives. He put me on hold..Here comes the Muzak..
This was the longest on-hold experience I ever had.. I was sure he forgot me OR (could it be?) he was in India, a la Outsourced. I was humming along to the Muzak hoping this recorded call would bring me fame. Lots of Mozart strings stuff. I was making up lyrics to the classical stuff. I was amused and sure I'd never get my info until a bonafide IT propeller-head got on the line. Remember the game? OK, now it's the 5th inning!!! If I had known this was going to take this long I would have peed. If I leave the phone I may miss the tech support. Bladder pain!!
Finally, I got a direct line into tech support super central who did what they always do. Logged me off and created a whole new profile, new PIN, new password, new fingerprints and DNA and walked me through it . Finally success.. Great, it's been over an hour, the game - Tampa/Texas - is in the 6th inning and I have decided to pee sitting down and read my 29-page retirement report.. ahhhhhhhhhh...
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