Shoot De Puck!!

A new time killer today.. Watched the much-hyped Canada/USA Hockey gold medal game. I was ready to make some snide comments since I am not a hockey fan - too many fights, can't follow the puck..I have to say it was pretty exciting and at least it IS a sport - something the Olympics needs more of.. More hockey - less curling

Hockey is a strange sport to me.. so many haphazard shots and passes. How the hell does anything get into the net. About 5 years ago - when I worked - I got a call from a famous hockey player who was working with a local printer in a sales capacity. This was Rod Gilbert and he offered to meet me down at Madison Square Garden to watch the NY Rangers workout. I had no interest as I didn't need the printer and worse I had no real idea who Rod Gilbert was. I looked him up on the Internet and realized he was like the Willie Mays of hockey and I blew him off like he was a schmendrick. I was polite though. "No thanks, Rod". He kept calling me and leaving voice messages that went something like this -- "hey, come on down to the Garden..we can talk business and score some goals together" (read that with a French/Canadian accent)..he eventually stopped but I have seen him a number of times since on sports shows and now I realize what a hockey hero he was..

So I have to say the hockey game was a fairly entertaining way to kill some time today. Either team could have won. This was also income tax day for me. I won't reveal specifics but rest assured I would have rather watched the Rangers practice with Rod. Cool times, eh?

Plowing through February

It's official. This has been the worst of the time killing months (the 13th month too)..Another over-hyped snow event has people shuttering in fear and the plows are actually running on our street and there is NO snow..Maybe these are rain plows? There were a few teaser days this dismal month. The sun was out, the temps were in the high 40s and you could hear birds - it was just a distraction.

As usual trying to avoid TV. It's either snow hype OR Olympics..I am watching this season's American Idol.. It can be entertaining but you have to wonder where some of these singers get the courage to show they have no idea how to stay on key. I imagine being nervous has much to do with that. I like the early rounds where the lunatics perform. As they weed them out and the better performers are on it loses its attraction for me (I may be in the minority on that)..

I just turned on the TV - it's midday and almost every channel has their unlucky reporters standing on the roadside in their woolen caps and scarves giving us the lowdown on this storm. It's like a cliche fest. The reporter throws it back to the studio anchors and they all start laughing at ANYTHING.....and of course the weatherman takes the blame for everything.. AHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

Swiffering for gold

In Conan O'Brian's final show monologue he advised everyone "not to be too cynical".. He must have never seen women's curling at the Winter Olympics. Watching the Olympics during a weekday is a new time-killing low point. During prime time you get to see skiing, skating and the psychotic luge contests. (gee, a guy died going 90 mph on a rocket-fast ice track bordered by huge steel girders?? Not surprising)..

So curling is immensely uninteresting and seems to be some kind of Nordic shuffleboarding. You slide some idiotic "stone" on what looks like an icy surface onto what looks like a bulls eye. I'm sure there is some explanation of who wins and why, but who cares? Two of the players, who are holding what looks like Swiffer brooms, brush the area in front of the moving stone helping it along before it gets to the bulls eye.

Listening to the announcers I had a feeling they were former players and lending very specific insight into the many strategies.. STRATEGIES?? I guess they're the same strategies you'd see in say Iron Chef on the food channel or a darts game in an Irish pub. Those two events never made it to the Olympics. The only similarity with these two and curling is you don't have to be in shape or have any athletic prowess - except for Swiffering like a lunatic..

I think I'll check the Olympics TV schedule to see when those skiers with the rifles start racing. It always reminds me of one of those James Bond movies where 007 parachutes off the end of a giant cliff.

I wonder if when the curling team goes up for their medals they bring their favorite Swiffers??

Snowapalooza!!!

Have to follow up on my last rant..250,000 dead in Haiti but it all it takes is a garden variety winter storm on the east coast to knock that story off the front page. So many different names for this "event" - my favorite is February Fury (I thought it was a joke). Turns out it was predicted to be a foot or two in this area. We got about 7 or 8 inches.. OK, so it's not that accurate but jeeeze don't spend half the day beating it to death..

A nice concise report is all we need. If we want more there's at least one or more 24-hour weather channels in case you can't get enough. I left the TV off today but when I periodically checked there was always some weather graphic, reporter in the street dodging plows or airport delay reports. OK, that is now the norm it appears..

I liked when a street reporter stopped a passerby as the snow was falling - you never know what you're going to get (Forest Gump)...This one reporter stops this guy who he should have known was trouble but the reporter asks, "what do you think of all this?". This guy was clearly demented and started shouting "WINTER, WINTER - it's still here.. GOD has plans"...The reporter made a lame ground hog shadow joke and turned it back to the stunned studio anchors who had dead-pan expressions..Was a highlight!!

Now with the snow stopped they try and scare the shit out of you with killer wind predictions and when that fizzles brace yourself for the NEXT big storm - 2 days from now. These studio weather people have such good hair - all of em.. Must be a substantial budget for such things. They better stay out of the wind..

Take this job and shovel it

OK, a new time-killing entry. It has been snowing on a weekly basis. Nothing earth shattering but enough to just annoy. The first level of annoyance is hearing the plows which gear up about 3 am with no concern for sleeping people. So, I'd rather have clear streets than good sleep? The sound of these clunky trucks/plows is significant and signals us that there is accumulation.

The next step is to survey the estate when the sun rises (about 6 45 or so) to see what you're up against. How much snow. Is it still coming down. Is it fluffy or wet. Is it cold. Is it windy. Have the plows built a giant wall of snow at the end of the driveway? What does this all mean to me? More than ever..

Being a free spirit I have no excuse other than to clear the property of the dreaded snow accumulation. Once I expertly survey the area I can determine is this a "shovel" deal OR is this a "snow blower" deal...You have to be able to justify the noise of the machine especially if it's early and you will alarm your 85-year-old neighbor. One good thing about the shovel deal is that it replaces a trip to the gym..It equals or surpasses the cardio effect of a treadmill (ha, I don't use one anyway). The shovel is slower but quieter and good for the four-inch and under job.. Everything over that means FIRE up the Toro and put on the goggles & boots..also, hope that Ms neighbor is out. She has a plow service..

It is interesting to be shoveling and stop to hear the sounds of other block members.. Some are shoveling and some are blowing. AND, this is 11 am on a Wednesday. To get a handle on the unemployment rate just look down the block and count heads...12 houses, 2 shovelers & 2 blowers. That's a 33% unemployment rate for this block. Next storm this Saturday - damn, there goes my methodology..