Global what?

Weather is a boring topic to me but it has been playing a significant role in day to day life lately. Like most people I don't like extremes. Anything over 90, under 40 or slippery affects my time killing capabilities. It's almost June and with the exception of a 2-day heatwave it has felt like mid-October. It's an easy shot to start in with the global warming doubts so I'll hold off. I keep seeing giant ice bergs splitting into pieces on the Discovery channel which can't be good.

HItting the road

I normally don't do much sight seeing. I'm not sure why because I know it can be nice and people enjoy it. I always remember the scene in the Chevy Chase "Vacation" movie when he gets out of the car at the Grand Canyon, takes a look and nods his head as if to say "OK, there it is, let's go!".. So in a continuing time killing effort my wife and I took a very long car ride this Memorial Day. I figure why not give it a go and "stop and smell the roses".. (they have thorns too)..

I guess we did 100 miles easy and I was surprised after living up this way how rural the area becomes just a few miles north. I also thought there'd be more traffic since it was one of those get out of the house holidays. We did stop and have some lunch which was pretty good except their restrooms were flooded. We stopped at a covered bridge (a la Madison County). That was the only place there was a crowd. People were all trekking down the semi-steep hills to sit and fish on the rocks which lined the fast-moving waters. It was a nice sight and a nice experience. I actually took some pictures (very rare)..All they needed to be complete was a rest room..

Walk THIS way, doofus

You'd think that there would be plenty of parking and low crowds at most places during the weekdays. That may be true for Home Depot but NOT for medical offices. As I continue my time killing quest to get things done while I can, I notice that you have to factor in 5-10 minutes at these medical offices to find a parking space. I've been going to a certain medical "group" and they are all located in office parks, medical complexes, hospitals and now campuses!! I've gotten pretty damn good at deciphering lobby directories (a small victory for me)..

So the latest in my quest to be physically improved was to see if I could fix some problems I have with my legendary bad feet. Naturally, that means a Podiatrist. I was imagining all these warnings and threats of surgery to correct a couple of bent toes but it was just the opposite which relieved me and concerned me. Surgery, right now, is not an option so he prescribed some orthotics (shoe inserts). There was a sign in the waiting room that stated "orthotics are not reimbursed by most insurance". Lucky me. I asked some specific question as to how I could reduce my constant discomfort and the doc gave me some instructions on How TO Walk.. mmm, I thought I had that aced in 1951 Brooklyn, NY. (thanks, mom) Apparently not as I am not coming down properly on my heel. So I have to make a conscious effort to take each step correctly. I already walk like a doofus so now I will walk like a doofus learning to line dance....Yeeehaaaa

My Oh My, MRI

When does 45 minutes feel like 2 days?? When you're stuffed into an MRI tube from head to toe, nose almost touching the top, shoulders barely fitting, IV in the arm, headphones playing Beatles music and constant instructions not to move and hold your breath. When I scheduled this appointment I didn't even ask if it was an "open" MRI as I thought all were.. THIS was like being a torpedo in a WWII submarine except there was no "Fire ONE"... The woman patient before me bailed out and couldn't finish her torpedo duty --- I saw her storm out of the reception area and hoped I wasn't going to wimp out.. The tech later told me she hit the panic button.. "There's a freakin PANIC button?"

I've had both types of MRIs (0pen and closed) and the open is much better, however, this one which focused on the abdomen required me to hold my breath. No wonder the lady stormed out. I was hoping that this was a one-shot deal but I counted at least 12 episodes of "hold, hold, hold" - each about 20 seconds long which just had to damage some brain cells. By the way, the Beatle music wasn't comforting as it kept getting interrupted with the torturous directions. All those great Beatle songs' lyrics had new meanings as I struggled to maintain my composure. Not one song played in its entirety which of course distracted me. Now, I did get through this and got a very high grade from the tech who obviously was comparing me to his earlier crazy lady. I was going to ask if he saw anything I should be concerned about but I knew better since I knew he couldn't comment plus he probably learned his trade at Apex Tech. So I just waited the usual 8 days for a call - all is fine but I have no career opportunites as a torpedo.

Heart of Darkness?

Experienced a new way to kill some time tonight..One quirk about living where I do is that we seem to lose power easily. Easily as in a robin lands on the wire?? Not sure but there are more power generators per household than anywhere else on earth. How do I know? I'm guessing but when you lose power as we did tonight for four hours, the neighborhood sounded like a test sight for Briggs and Straton engines..I never got a generator and I wish I had since I conservatively estimate we've lost our power the last 20 years at least 75 times. I think our previous home on Long Island we lost our power once in ten years and that was during a category 5 hurricane.. NOT that I want to move back to Long Island..

In a dark house (not so awful), all alone (not so bad), a little chilly (no big deal), no way to cook (who cares?), No Tv (ok, getting serious now), No internet, (moan) No Water!!! (Sounds trivial? try not flushing)..

Swine flu - que lastima

As I start out another day of time killing and semi-retired activities I was half watching the TV (People's Court) when there was a "breaking news" alert.. That always gets my attention in this area as you always expect some airline-related event. Not today, however, as the People's Court was cut short with news of a NYC teacher swine flu death. Some poor guy in his 50s who may have had a pre-existing condition which they would not disclose during the press conference with NYC Mayor Bloomberg. The highlight of this was the Mayor's repeating his opening statement in Spanish. It was like an SNL skit listening to his pronunciation. It was like something on Weekend Update. This guy needs Berlitz.

Monument park

Continuing to go to my scheduled softball games - usually 1 or 2 per week. Mother nature has sent a few not-so-subtle messages to limit my participation and that's been a tough adjustment. Running has been my major issue but there are a few others sneaking in. YET, I really like playing and participating I just have to do it from the coach's box with a clipboard - at least I'm part of it and not catching a line drive with my mouth.

Last night was a defining moment in our team. I've been on this team for 20 years and the 5 other guys who started up this team were all standing at the bench while our sons and younger members were on the field kicking the crap out of a fairly decent team and for some reason I felt "this is the way it should be"... The 6 of us standing shoulder to shoulder were aptly described as "monument park".. I can accept that..it's better than the Golden Girls...

Green thumb?

I haven't been feeling too bloggy lately.. Nothing too amusing, however, I did get involved in some new time killing activity. I always thought I'd "putter" around the yard if I was retired. So far, this puttering is equal to looking out the window after the lawn service finished their job. Ahhhh, a fine feeling of accomplishment. It takes 6 guys about 12 minutes which historically has taken me 90 minutes on my own. It's very efficient..

Today I did decide to do some extracurricular yard work. Detail work that the lawn service doesn't deal with.. shrubs, weeds, tree trimming. I alloted what I thought was a fair amount of my precious time - 2.5 hours. I threw in a garage clean up which brought it to more than 3 hours and at the end of that I felt ------ pooped...(I wonder why?) I thought IF that was my regular job I'd be in big trouble... Unless I was 30 years younger...

About 30 years ago I was working in our first quaint starter home yard. I did everything including tree trimming. Once while my mother was visiting I decided to climb a tree in our front yard equipped with a bow saw to get rid of some branches. Needless to say, I learned my lesson that this is dangerous business. I started sawing away at a medium size branch when it snapped and kicked back and hit me in the face. I was lucky (I guess) as it put a hole in my cheek. My mother and wife were at the rescue with the cotton balls and peroxide. The best part is the get-well card from my good friend Don who captured the moment perfectly with his unique style of illustration. That image of the branch implanted into my cheek reminds me to stay within my yard-working comfort zone (on the deck with a vodka tonic)..

Sports talk

I have to admit with my new found time I have been listening to a fair amount of radio and TV sports talk.. I'm not a fanatic but I do have a strong attachment to baseball. And if you're in NY you get wall-to-wall baseball talk especially if there are issues to complain about. For instance, the Yankees losing their first five games to their arch rival Boston Red Sox..I hated to see these losses but in a crazy way it's been entertaining.. It provides endless fodder for the radio and TV pundits. They are ALL very critical and for some reason all-knowing all the time..

I always wonder how the comments will be the day after a bad game.. Last night the Tampa Rays beat the Yankees in a monsoon and 90 percent of all sports talk was about this. (Forget that there's an exciting NBA championship taking place)..It was close and perhaps some different management decisions would have made the difference..Here's my point - how do all these pundits and callers become Kreskin?.. Granted they can have their opinions but they make their points sound like something other than guesswork.. That's all it is.

Some of the callers are really misguided but one thing I have noticed is there are quite a few broadcasters with speech impediments... It's the Tom Brokaw syndrome..

Scared smokeless??

Holding off on any more medical time killing commentary.. I just don't like re-reading those entries so I'll wait and do a wrap up when it makes sense.. should be soon, but you never know.

On a related topic - remember all those "quit smoking" ads? The most recent one with the crying child in the airport and before that disgusting lung noises, hole in the throat guy, etc...So the newest one is very bothersome. It seems to run during sports shows but maybe it has been widespread. It's the one with the woman and her damn amputated fingers and toes. She holds up her hands and it looks like she had a lawn-mowing accident. Most of the fingers are clipped off in the middle and you can't get to the TV remote fast enough. (I just did this and switched to a soap opera for 60 seconds until all was safe in missing finger land).. Of course, she says, this was all because of smoking. She had 16 or 17 (she says)..question one: wouldn't you know EXACTLY how many fingers and toes you lost, not just an estimate?? question two: after the first amputation or second or third, wouldn't you throw your cigarettes OUT the FREAKING window???? I assume she kept smoking until she could no longer throw a bowling ball??

A side note -- If this wasn't enough motivation, have you ever seen the price of cigarettes? $50 a carton -- for the crummy brands..I recall during my service years you could get a carton for ONE dollar on the base. Maybe this woman is a veteran?

Testy from tests

OK, time killing continues...This CAT scan I had confirmed a heart problem which requires yearly monitoring - not so bad and it's what I expected.. Shouldn't affect my daily activities (unless I run a triathlon)..As an unexpected bonus this test showed some other goodies which now requires an MRI.. That will be done next week. I think my DR is ordering all this since I DO have the time.. Maybe they have a radiology/unemployment special? Lose a job and get jammed into a claustrophobic tube for 28 minutes..what better way to spend the day?! Stay tuned..