Extra Innings?

Need to get away from recent animal-related time killing experiences...Had a new non-animal event to report. We signed up with a large brokerage firm to handle our nest egg (my favorite term) for our retirement. We had a long meeting the other day and reviewed everything you can think of. The financial planner/adviser created a plan for us and sent it today - as planned - as a PDF via the internet. It was a large file..

It was early afternoon and I had the baseball playoff games on as I started my download. It was the first inning of game one (an important benchmark). I went to the link in the email which had all my "stuff".. the full recommendation of what to do with our nest egg. I used our login and PIN info and was asked for my SSN which it rejected (there are many theories why but I can't bear to repeat them)...I had NO access to the file since now I was Locked OUT for making too many mistakes.. I hate that. I'm usually good with this kind of computer crap..This company, like others, have way too many layers of security..

I gave up trying to login and called their tech support line. I got a youngish go-getter type so I felt a sense of relief. Well, short-term relief. I had experience with his type from my former job. He was talking PC-talk and I am a Mac user (shouldn't everyone be?)..I was used to this as I was in the vast minority of Mac users at my old job (maybe 25 Mac users and 20,000 PC users). Young Brad tried all sorts of crap and I was suggesting alternatives. He put me on hold..Here comes the Muzak..

This was the longest on-hold experience I ever had.. I was sure he forgot me OR (could it be?) he was in India, a la Outsourced. I was humming along to the Muzak hoping this recorded call would bring me fame. Lots of Mozart strings stuff. I was making up lyrics to the classical stuff. I was amused and sure I'd never get my info until a bonafide IT propeller-head got on the line. Remember the game? OK, now it's the 5th inning!!! If I had known this was going to take this long I would have peed. If I leave the phone I may miss the tech support. Bladder pain!!

Finally, I got a direct line into tech support super central who did what they always do. Logged me off and created a whole new profile, new PIN, new password, new fingerprints and DNA and walked me through it . Finally success.. Great, it's been over an hour, the game - Tampa/Texas - is in the 6th inning and I have decided to pee sitting down and read my 29-page retirement report.. ahhhhhhhhhh...