I have had no less than 200 calls from our local cable company (Cablevision) trying to get me to sign up for their "triple play" deal which includes TV, Cable and Phone. I have two of the three and I have held out on the phone service.. (I heard things)..Since I've been home I have had the time-killing opportunity of looking at the caller ID and if it's Optimum (Cablevision) I don't answer. Now it's become an obsession, however, I am thinking of switching over to save $100 a month on my useless landline carrier..I keep thinking, OK, I will answer next time they call. Well, they called about 25 minutes ago and I didn't answer. I need rehearsal time to ask all the key questions. I'd love to know how much money they've spend on their recent advertising campaign. It's all over the TV - in multiple languages, newspaper and radio, inserts in the freakin Pennysaver and of course direct mail brochures..I am wondering when (and if) I answer their next call if I can riff with the sales person..
"Sayyyyyy, you called me more than 200 times, do I get some kind of annoyance discount?" I'm sure they will be responsive and sympathetic. I actually DID talk to someone there about 3 months ago and he couldn't answer one technical question I had so my fear of change kicked in. Sure, I've got cable phone now but my DVR stopped working and my internet is flakey. I need to have better answers..It's a crap shoot who answers and a bigger crap shoot as to who shows up at the house.. (damn, and I will have to hide all my illegal splitters or bribe the tech to stay out of Optimum jail).. Oh, God, there's the phone now... stay tuned..
Thursday, July 9, 2009
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
Betty, we hardly knew ye
Oh to have the time to watch the Michael Jackson memorial. It hasn't started yet and actually I am not planning on watching. I'll wait until it's covered on the "Soup" to get the real details..OK, so of course the Today show is promoting this - they are out in LA and have reporters all over the place. One reporter - whom I've never seen - filed a report of where MJ may be laid to rest. He was in front of some kind of Pine Lawnish building and said many celebrities were buried there. He ran down a list of names of Hollywood elite including Betty White (Hollywood elite?).. It caught my attention for some reason. The reason? I just saw Betty White on Super Password and I actually thought mmmmmmm, the last of the Golden Girls and the great Sue Ann Nivens from the Mary Tyler Moore show. So when I heard she was dead and buried I wondered just how recent this Super Password show was.. Perhaps her death was upstaged by the passing of Karl Malden??
Betty Lives.. Trusty Meredith Viera popped in and apologized. That reporter was meaning to say Bette Davis was buried there..Phew, that was close..
Betty Lives.. Trusty Meredith Viera popped in and apologized. That reporter was meaning to say Bette Davis was buried there..Phew, that was close..
Monday, July 6, 2009
Lights, camera, nausea
Going to the movies is a standard time killing undertaking for me... We usually take one trip to the theater each week - if there's something to see. The last few weeks we saw some good science fiction (not my favorite) in Star Trek; action movie in The Taking of Pelham 1, 2, 3; comedy in Whatever Works by my favorite director Woody Allen. All these were entertaining and I took something from it. Today we switched gears and saw a new documentary (I love documentaries). This one was titled Food, Inc.
It was an interesting, informative movie about everything that goes into the foods that we eat. I knew what I was in for and purposely didn't buy any M&Ms going into the theater. It does seem that most of what we eat is corn based. I think you can make anything out of corn - even diapers and batteries. There was plenty of footage of slaughterhouses where cows, pigs and chickens met their untimely ends. You may need to divert your eyes as they decapitate the chickens in some kind of Willy Wonka-esque head removal machine.
There were the usual villains in a story like this who naturally refused to be interviewed. I was hoping to hear from some suits from Monsanto, Tyson and Perdue. I'm sure Frank Perdue or one of his surviving sons could have lightened up the mood of this morbid reality check. Their current TV ads are so warm and fuzzy with their chickens who they named..Picture their prize hen Hazel sliding into the decapitator and having her throat cut, having her blood drained and a farewell wish from one of the boys "see ya at KFC, Hazel."
It was an interesting, informative movie about everything that goes into the foods that we eat. I knew what I was in for and purposely didn't buy any M&Ms going into the theater. It does seem that most of what we eat is corn based. I think you can make anything out of corn - even diapers and batteries. There was plenty of footage of slaughterhouses where cows, pigs and chickens met their untimely ends. You may need to divert your eyes as they decapitate the chickens in some kind of Willy Wonka-esque head removal machine.
There were the usual villains in a story like this who naturally refused to be interviewed. I was hoping to hear from some suits from Monsanto, Tyson and Perdue. I'm sure Frank Perdue or one of his surviving sons could have lightened up the mood of this morbid reality check. Their current TV ads are so warm and fuzzy with their chickens who they named..Picture their prize hen Hazel sliding into the decapitator and having her throat cut, having her blood drained and a farewell wish from one of the boys "see ya at KFC, Hazel."
Thursday, July 2, 2009
...and the livin is easy
I don't know why I am paying so much attention to the weather. It's something a bored retired guy would do (uh oh). I cannot remember any time period when it's rained so much and temperatures have been so non-summerlike. I notice the rest of the country is boiling while we are living in some kind of rain forest. The lawns are deep green and the shrubs and flowers are growing amok..So who cares? I have to admit in a weird way I like it. I am trying to establish a new record for not turning on our precious central AC system. I had it fired up and checked out in May and it's now July and I haven't used it. Now I am seeing just how far I can take it. Just knowing it's there is comforting but I've been experimenting with ceiling fans and open window/cross ventilation solutions. My mother would be happy and comfortable..."ahhhhhhhh, feel that breeze? It's the nicest part of the day.."
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
Senator Stuart Smalley?
What a weird news period the past few weeks. I had to kill some time watching shows I normally avoid - all the morning and magazine shows. The warm up was Ed McMahon's death followed by Farrah and then the most newsy - Michael Jackson. This Michael Jackson issue will be playing until Thanksgiving. But wait, there's MORE! If you watch these shows now you get BILLY Mays. That's right the ultimate bearded, loud talking pitchman made minor headlines after dying after MJ.. And no it wasn't related to a rough airline landing.
To me my favorite news story of this summer is Al Franken was named the junior senator for the state of Minnesota. This after a long, complicated vote recount. He got in by something like 300 votes..I always liked Al from SNL..How could you not.. he's good enough, he's smart enough and doggone it, people like him...
To me my favorite news story of this summer is Al Franken was named the junior senator for the state of Minnesota. This after a long, complicated vote recount. He got in by something like 300 votes..I always liked Al from SNL..How could you not.. he's good enough, he's smart enough and doggone it, people like him...
Thursday, June 25, 2009
All aboard
Yesterday I made my third NYC train trip since my February separation from my job. I have to say it's a well-run railroad and a good way to get into the city from Hooterville (up here). Sometimes my wife and I venture into town and often drive and that's usually on a weekend so I'm not counting those trips.
After thirty years of train travel into NYC there were always certain times, days and seasons that were better than others (not that a working guy had a choice)...Some trains times were better than others. On holidays you had to know which train to take or avoid. When you got to the train you had to know the best place to sit - which car to sit in - which car had the bathroom (God forbid). You always had to watch to see if a group of kids/students were taking a trip into the city then the train became like prom night.. The noise level was significant. The other mainstay in annoyances were the cell phone calls. There are 2 types of people - those who use their cell phone politely (quietly and quickly) and those who have NO FREAKIN concern for anyone hearing there inane business. These calls go on forever. That is why, I determined, you never go anywhere - like a train - without an iPod..You have to drown them out with music - ANY music.
I had lots of useless data which I applied to my commute. I knew when I passed on this info I was judged as a neurotic. I think I'd have to agree with that but it's just part of me. It resurfaced during yesterday's trip as I got on a mid-morning local train on (drumroll) "matinee" day - Wednesday. This is the day the Broadway shows have 1 pm starts and discounted pricing. We used to call it blue hair Wednesday because all the elderly and retired folks were heading in to go see "MAME". Those old folks are usually OK except on the ride back where they are all pumped up about their experience. I guess I may fit more into that category now - grey haired, non-regular commuter (non regular??)
The suburban commuter train, to me, is like a vacation in Aruba compared to taking the subway. Yes, the subway is a very efficient way to navigate through the city but there's just something so annoying (maybe this is because I just saw the remake of Taking of Pelham 1 2 3 or that I waited yesterday about 15 minutes for the #6 local on a steaming hot, crowded platform). I used to in my earlier commuting years have to take the subway everyday. I actually MOVED from Long Island to here to cut out that need when I got into the city - it was well worth it. So perhaps I just wasn't used to subway riding. For one multi-week period I had to take the subway - during rush hour - to Wall Street. I was very grateful when that ended. I first started going down with a group of co-workers and then split off from them so I could go it alone. I actually left very early to avoid the rush hour crowd which eased the trauma for me. Trauma = train stops and loses lights. There's something so phobic about a stuck subway train - just like in that Seinfeld episode where Elaine is silently screaming as her train stops and the lights are out. Not even an iPod would have helped her.
After thirty years of train travel into NYC there were always certain times, days and seasons that were better than others (not that a working guy had a choice)...Some trains times were better than others. On holidays you had to know which train to take or avoid. When you got to the train you had to know the best place to sit - which car to sit in - which car had the bathroom (God forbid). You always had to watch to see if a group of kids/students were taking a trip into the city then the train became like prom night.. The noise level was significant. The other mainstay in annoyances were the cell phone calls. There are 2 types of people - those who use their cell phone politely (quietly and quickly) and those who have NO FREAKIN concern for anyone hearing there inane business. These calls go on forever. That is why, I determined, you never go anywhere - like a train - without an iPod..You have to drown them out with music - ANY music.
I had lots of useless data which I applied to my commute. I knew when I passed on this info I was judged as a neurotic. I think I'd have to agree with that but it's just part of me. It resurfaced during yesterday's trip as I got on a mid-morning local train on (drumroll) "matinee" day - Wednesday. This is the day the Broadway shows have 1 pm starts and discounted pricing. We used to call it blue hair Wednesday because all the elderly and retired folks were heading in to go see "MAME". Those old folks are usually OK except on the ride back where they are all pumped up about their experience. I guess I may fit more into that category now - grey haired, non-regular commuter (non regular??)
The suburban commuter train, to me, is like a vacation in Aruba compared to taking the subway. Yes, the subway is a very efficient way to navigate through the city but there's just something so annoying (maybe this is because I just saw the remake of Taking of Pelham 1 2 3 or that I waited yesterday about 15 minutes for the #6 local on a steaming hot, crowded platform). I used to in my earlier commuting years have to take the subway everyday. I actually MOVED from Long Island to here to cut out that need when I got into the city - it was well worth it. So perhaps I just wasn't used to subway riding. For one multi-week period I had to take the subway - during rush hour - to Wall Street. I was very grateful when that ended. I first started going down with a group of co-workers and then split off from them so I could go it alone. I actually left very early to avoid the rush hour crowd which eased the trauma for me. Trauma = train stops and loses lights. There's something so phobic about a stuck subway train - just like in that Seinfeld episode where Elaine is silently screaming as her train stops and the lights are out. Not even an iPod would have helped her.
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Job swap
As I was leaving the house this morning to go to my time killing, semi-daily routine at the gym I see and hear a couple of trucks pull up to the front. Yup, it was those tree-chopping guys who said they'd be here "sometime".. While I didn't HAVE to be home I decided to kill the time monitoring their progress. While doing that I was actually job searching which seems to be just plain idiotic these days. What I noticed was the juxtaposition (I always wanted to use that word) of my work and the tree guy work. I wondered what would happen if we both - at that moment - switched jobs. Like a Disney movie.
So I'd be out in the tree either in that bucket OR climbing the base with spiky climber shoes with a chainsaw on my belt. I'd probably get a cramp, however, let me give myself some credit and see how the tree guy does writing on this laptop. Would his problems with syntax, grammar and spelling be equivalent to my fear of being hit in the head with a giant 200 pound branch? We will never find out will we? Then again, they ARE coming back in a few days to remove the remaining stump.. I've seen that process and maybe I could swing that job while the tree guy comes in and writes a cover letter to go with my resume..
So I'd be out in the tree either in that bucket OR climbing the base with spiky climber shoes with a chainsaw on my belt. I'd probably get a cramp, however, let me give myself some credit and see how the tree guy does writing on this laptop. Would his problems with syntax, grammar and spelling be equivalent to my fear of being hit in the head with a giant 200 pound branch? We will never find out will we? Then again, they ARE coming back in a few days to remove the remaining stump.. I've seen that process and maybe I could swing that job while the tree guy comes in and writes a cover letter to go with my resume..
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