Pants on the ground

I was feeling I had hit almost all Time Killing issues this past year so there have been fewer postings. I read back on them and felt like I'd be in re-runs if I wasn't careful. Today, however, I had a little gem.

I had a dental cleaning appointment which went as expected. Lots of scraping and flossing and chatting. The hygienist is a very nice girl (she seems to be in her 20s but I could be wrong).. She's good with my aging mouth and she talks a lot. I rarely have a chance to answer with a mouth full of Allen wrenches and cotton. I try to recall my responses and speed talk them as she's in between processes. She's very interested in movies and was asking me if I saw Shutter Island (or is it Shudder?). I said no and told her I'd rent it so next time we can talk about it. She said good since she'd like the input of a professional!!! Yikes, a professional? I forgot I had mentioned I was doing some writing. She remembered that and I did give her an update on my top secret screenplay project. I guess that enhanced my status as a pro? Ah, what the hell. I felt good about that. No cavities and I have an identity at the dentist's office.

So as I said my goodbyes and exited the office I remembered I had loosened my belt before I got in the exam chair. No important reason - just more comfortable. I have to cinch my belt tight to keep my pants up. It's idiotic but part of my life. So as I walked out I could feel the looseness but ignored it thinking nobody will notice my saggy ass. I got to my car which was up too close against the neighboring Benz next to me. I had to go sideways to my door and I noticed a huge yellow jacket wasp in my rear wheel well area. I used my previously-learned tactics and ignored that damn thing. Not good. He flew right at my face and I started swatting like a mental patient. I slid my way from between the 2 cars to the small parking lot and I was in that wasp's cross hairs. I was fixed on not getting stung and in that moment my loosened pants slid to my knees..Oh shit.

As I shuffled back to the shelter of the 2 cars, a guy about my age had just pulled up and exited his car. I reached for my pants but I was limited with my zippy little dental packet in hand. Screw it. I dropped it and grabbed my pants and the guy asks me if everything is OK. I said yeah, oh yeah, just an aggressive wasp. We then had the oddest 2-minute conversation about wasps on his roof and his feelings about dental cleanings. The whole time I was holding my pants up by my belt hidden by a Silver E-class Benz. My dental packet was on the ground and the wasp continued hoovering toward the back of my car..

A good Time Killer blog entry I thought... Afterall, I AM a professional!!!!