Dog days, CAT Scans

It's been a toasty April with multiple 90-degree days.. I hadn't even tested my house's AC system but it did work..It has put an interesting angle on time killing. It is soothing in a way and I know some people who prefer the dog-day feeling but now we are prepared for a 40-degree drop any time now. Afterall it has been like a faux summer.

On this hottest April day I had yet another medical test (tis the season)..This one wasn't as harrowing as the dreaded stress test. The CAT scan isn't all that bad - much better than an MRI - but there are a few highlights. After asking you 12 times if you're allergic to anything (I have no idea except for garlic), they set you up with an IV line and get you prepared for a contrast substance injection. I've had that before and wasn't concerned except this time I had a fair warning about feeling a warm sensation in my throat, chest and (gulp) groin. More specifically the tech/nurse said it may feel like you are urinating..(Oyyyyyy)..Well, I'm glad I got that warning because that is exactly what it felt like.. I hope she lends that warning to all her patients or they would be trying to extract themselves from the mammoth machine (I barely fit - lengthwise)..

Have no results at this point but whatever they are it can't be as bad as peeing your pants!!

The Season Begins

I've made reference to playing softball - traditionally a very nice way to kill time. Without a job in the way, it's very easy to make the games and not have to worry about staying out too late. Last night was our season's opener. I guess I've been playing almost 20 years in this league and before that other leagues including little league, etc..

I was never great but good enough to be in the game and not embarrass myself. I always enjoyed the game but as time marches on I am beginning to have doubts..I am usually the oldest or one of the oldest guys on the field. I think the first time I thought of retiring was when I got thrown out after hitting to the right fielder.. I am having trouble running bases..I keep hinting that I may be done playing but it doesn't sink in with anyone..Last night I didn't wear spikes which I figured was a sign that I'd coach or cheerlead.. No such luck, we were short-handed and I played my usual position - 1st base..I usually do OK there. This time I was shakey.. made a few plays and botched a few including an easy pop up. Maybe it was first-game-itis? Not wearing spikes didn't help by the way - I had a hit to left field and fell flat on my face running to first...A hush fell over the crowd.. I think I heard someone murmur "he needs to take golf lessons"...

Bridge Bats

So that earlier reference to Bats needed an explanation. This was a very unique way to kill some time while in Austin, TX. To clarify, we watched nearly one million bats swarm from underneath a local bridge at dusk. They found this under-bridge's perfect crevices the ideal nesting place during the daylight hours. So at around dusk these wacky flying mammals start leaving their nests to start their evening's festivities - whatever the hell that is..

There were a number of boats cruising around this bridge - party boats and private boats. Additionally, there were quite a few people hanging over the bridge. We were in a boat with about 25 people and after the majority of bats were airborne you could smell their waste matter (guava?) and you had to be careful not to be a target.. some of us got hit. It wasn't exactly seagull quality so it was tolerable. Overall it was eerie watching the swarms haul ass down the river and have strange flocking shapes. It looked like brown sprinkles on a blue ice cream cone in a psychotic design.

Overall it was a very unique experience.. very National Geographic..After the thrill wore off I focused on the two drunk guys in a kayak who intentionally smashed into two other guys in a bass boat...It was a side show that never fully developed..I went back to smelling bat shit..

Jet Blue - the RIDE

Here is a follow up to "Let's Travel"... so after the successful 3 days which included great food, great friends, great margaritas and about 1.2 million bats, we returned home. Again, the weather played a big role. Our noon flight was delayed leaving an hour (not bad considering) however we were warned we could be delayed getting into NY by up to 4 hours..Ahhhhhh, a real soothing feeling as the gate waiting area was standing room only. The tension was evident. I was in my best zen airport mood aided by crossword puzzles and mentos.

On Friday we were very lucky to get into our destination (Austin, TX) since there were major storms and this night (Monday) it was similar. As we got closer to the Northeast you could feel the benign bumping - not that noticeable but you just knew it was going to increase (play the Jaws theme).."we need a bigger plane, right?".. Our approach into JFK was about 30 minutes and the last 15 minutes was like some psychotic ride at Six Flags Over Transylvania (bat reference to be discussed in the near future)..Talk about tension - I swear I smelled vomit which added to my growing nausea. We lived and enjoyed listening to the cell phone calls as we taxied to the gate .. all complaints.. everyone, however, said a nice friendly farewell the the pilot who stood at the cockpit door saying his goodbyes..All I could think was -- god, you gotta do this crap every day??

Let's travel!!!

Another popular Time Killer is travel.. No work to worry about - come and go as you please. Nice and relaxed, stay a hotels, see friends and live from one meal to the next. All dietary restraint is out the window. Oh, one thing to consider is weather.

At this writing, I am in Austin, Texas. It's a zippy, hip college town with lots of character and things to do. I'd say the median age here is about 22. Lots of great restaurants and funky stores (many tattoo parlors). But back to the weather..

We managed to plan this trip around some really nasty springtime storms (who knew?).. Our flight was barely late but we did have to circumnavigate around some massive line of Texas thunderstorms and our pilot bravely landed us in what had to be maybe the only 20 minute window in a 2-day period. We did have to circle a bit because of a Micro BURST (I think you can get those now at Dairy Freeze). There was some serious turbulence but I always think back to those documentaries about hurricane hunter planes which never get knocked out of the air. Also, having taken military flights is a good experience (they never care about smooth air, so bouncing is standard)..

We re-enter the travel zone tomorrow as we return home and the weather in Texas looks OK. The weather back home could be iffy so I'll start practicing being a relaxed, cool customer now. That relaxed attitude always leaves me once I have to take off my shoes and belt at the airport security check. It is beyond idiotic...See you back on the home front..

Testing, testing

I knew I was going to use some of this extra time to get some neglected health issues dealt with. The good part is I don't have to worry about taking personal, sick or vacation days. The bad part is waiting for results. Although most of the results turn out to be OK, there are always a few things that need attention and you have to wait since one test seems to spawn more tests. For instance, I had a stress test which I passed and was pleased. I don't think I could ever get my pulse that high unless I sky dived over the Grand Canyon. I had some other tests which were OK but required more so I will schedule these and wait for more results.

I made the mistake of thinking the stress test tech was the Doctor (cardiologist I had not met), so I was giving him lots of info while he was setting me up with diodes and wires. He was looking at my chart and asking many questions so I figured I was going to get some real good attention and advice. I knew the cardiologist had to be present while I was being tested in case my head exploded, however, he didn't enter until the last minute. He DID ask me some questions but was doing so while I was trying desperately trying to keep up with the damn treadmill. I was a tad distracted to say the least but wanted to act cool. I was thinking I wasted all my nicely crafted answers for the damn technician and all my breathless answers sounded idiotic. I felt like George Jetson "Jane, stop this crazy thing!!"

Where's Tiger?

OK, this is a new dimension in time killing - watching early rounds of the Masters Golf.. GOLF?? I didn't realize I had the golf channel until this week. Honestly, if there was some good baseball on that would have gotten my attention. Also, I'm a fair-weather golf fan. I want to see Tiger and Phil duke it out on Sunday afternoon so this viewing experience is new for me.

The announcers seem to have either an Ausie or New Zealand accent. I say New Zealand because they sound much like those guys on HBO's Flight of the Concords which has nothing to do with this post or golf. The names of these top 7 or 9 contenders are not familiar to me .. ... Shingo Katiyama, Angel Cabrera (doesn't he play baseball?), Chad Campbell or Kenny Perry? What ever happened to Davis Love III? He grew up with that name??

Golf is OK.. I wish I could play better or at all.. I always remember a bit Robert Klein did mimicking one of those whispering announcer types -- "That took COURAGE on the 14th hole, Byron. You don't see that everyday!"

I think it takes Courage to wear that hideous green jacket..