Back to Bahrain

Doesn't that title sound like a good movie name? I always remember "Back to Bataan" - a cool war movie - was on every damn Sunday of my childhood. It was gritty and entertaining. So what am I talking about? Read on.

Bahrain is an island in the Persian gulf.. I guess it's a country or a Sheikdom or something. I was sent there by the US Navy to serve out my final 12 months of my 4-year tour. I had to go to the library to look it up when I got the orders. I never heard of it. Its location and background were scary AND this was really all before the term Persian Gulf (or Desert Storm) had such a negative connotation. I was assigned to serve on the USS LaSalle, the command ship of the Commander of Middle East Forces. The ship was painted white (not grey) to reflect the incredible desert heat. The summer had temps frequently above 100 and sailors were allowed to wear shorts and T shirts. It was like an episode of McHale's Navy.

My latest time-killing experience is to be here at home alone for 10 days. That's a record for solo time even though I have had many days by myself so I am well trained. Why am I doing solo time? My wife (and her mother) left on a long-planned trip to Bahrain yesterday. My wife's dad was a US Navy officer who was also stationed in Bahrain. He moved the whole family over there in the early 70s and lived for 3 years in an apartment near the base. Her dad also had quarters on the ship and went on many cruises in his 3 years. My wife and her brother attended an International high school on the island. She has attended a number of reunions for that school. I joined her at one of the reunions and we won the award for longest-married couple. I should mention we met in Bahrain and had a very atypical courtship - Indian movies, HOT food and a rented Datsun B210. Most recently she and I attended a reunion for the ship and we are scheduled to attend another this year. Living there had a profound influence on my wife's family and yesterday they left out of Kennedy Airport for London and then to Bahrain. The trip of a life time...

It reminded me of one of those re-visits to Vietnam where those vets get to see that country in a different light and see a WalMart where a rice paddy used to be. My wife and her mother are well prepared for this adventure. They spent months planning and even though their airline - British Airways - went on strike a week before their trip, they managed to get on a re-scheduled flight and were upgraded to some kind of upper-class service with foot rests, free booze, butlers and fuzzy slippers. I thought that was a good sign that this trip would go well..

This is only day 2 of the adventure so I don't have much detail and I don't know if it will come pouring in as cell phone and Internet costs are a touch high ($3 bucks per minute). I guess I will hear about it when they return..I did have an idea which is now too late.. This could have made a good documentary.. It has all the elements - historical, emotional, sentimental, educational - a true human interest tale. Just have to get someone to produce and film that..I'm too busy killing time here and after all I AM writing a screen play - the laff-a-minute story of a downsized 60-year old who loses his job as a result of the economic collapse. The working title is "Now What?" Look for it in theaters in about 4 years...I may have to update that theme and throw in some cutting health care yuks - "Hey, let's have another colonoscopy"...

I love a parade?

I can remember last St Patrick's Day as being one of the first days of my retirement. I recall seeing the parade on the TV which was odd as my office window had a first-hand view of the marchers and I didn't realize it was televised. So here is another St Pat's deal which doesn't really fill the bill for time killing. I remember as a kid all the Catholic schools used to be closed which made it seem like more of a holiday. Now it's just another day where Al Roker wears a green tie.

I guess I am mostly Irish as my mother was and I'd call her on this day from my office to see if she could hear the bagpipes on the street. I remember asking her if she'd ever like to come up and see the parade. I remember her answer was something like "oh, I'd hate the crowds"...ahhhhhh, therein lies the legacy. I did go to the parade a few times. A real outing - a one block walk with little chance of crossing the street.

I had to answer a question from my hair cutter yesterday . She asked what I was doing for St Patrick's Day. I had no answer because I did nothing. The hair cutter was shocked as she looks forward to it for days.. I re-thought the issue. Well, we just completed remodeling our main bathroom - new tub, new sink, new medicine cabinet, new toilet, new floor, new lights and the walls are GREEN...Erin GO Pee..

Update

About one hour into the Oscar show ABC returned to the air...How did this happen.? Pressure, guilt, fear..? I say Walt thawed out and read the riot act (in Mickey Mouse's high-pitched voice)..

And the loser is...

....anyone with Cablevision. As of 2 pm on Oscar telecast Sunday our local cable carrier does NOT have ABC-tv - the broadcaster of the program. That channel was knocked off line at midnight last night due to a money (big surprise) dispute between Cablevision and Disney...DISNEY????? holy shit - If Walt was alive he'd never let this happen. He soothed all our souls when he was alive...we had the Mickey Mouse Club, the Disney Sunday show, all sorts of movies including Son of Flubber, Snow White, Lady and the Tramp..damn, isn't he frozen somewhere. Can't somebody thaw him out and get him to settle this before 9 pm?

So there will probably be no time killing with the Academy Awards tonight. Maybe they will settle before that. I am really just a casual viewer but I did see most of the movies. There are 3 million subscribers affected and many who are involved in the industry. So unless you have an alternate carrier (Fios, Dish, Direct TV) you better break out the blow torches and start working on Walt...

Shoot De Puck!!

A new time killer today.. Watched the much-hyped Canada/USA Hockey gold medal game. I was ready to make some snide comments since I am not a hockey fan - too many fights, can't follow the puck..I have to say it was pretty exciting and at least it IS a sport - something the Olympics needs more of.. More hockey - less curling

Hockey is a strange sport to me.. so many haphazard shots and passes. How the hell does anything get into the net. About 5 years ago - when I worked - I got a call from a famous hockey player who was working with a local printer in a sales capacity. This was Rod Gilbert and he offered to meet me down at Madison Square Garden to watch the NY Rangers workout. I had no interest as I didn't need the printer and worse I had no real idea who Rod Gilbert was. I looked him up on the Internet and realized he was like the Willie Mays of hockey and I blew him off like he was a schmendrick. I was polite though. "No thanks, Rod". He kept calling me and leaving voice messages that went something like this -- "hey, come on down to the Garden..we can talk business and score some goals together" (read that with a French/Canadian accent)..he eventually stopped but I have seen him a number of times since on sports shows and now I realize what a hockey hero he was..

So I have to say the hockey game was a fairly entertaining way to kill some time today. Either team could have won. This was also income tax day for me. I won't reveal specifics but rest assured I would have rather watched the Rangers practice with Rod. Cool times, eh?

Plowing through February

It's official. This has been the worst of the time killing months (the 13th month too)..Another over-hyped snow event has people shuttering in fear and the plows are actually running on our street and there is NO snow..Maybe these are rain plows? There were a few teaser days this dismal month. The sun was out, the temps were in the high 40s and you could hear birds - it was just a distraction.

As usual trying to avoid TV. It's either snow hype OR Olympics..I am watching this season's American Idol.. It can be entertaining but you have to wonder where some of these singers get the courage to show they have no idea how to stay on key. I imagine being nervous has much to do with that. I like the early rounds where the lunatics perform. As they weed them out and the better performers are on it loses its attraction for me (I may be in the minority on that)..

I just turned on the TV - it's midday and almost every channel has their unlucky reporters standing on the roadside in their woolen caps and scarves giving us the lowdown on this storm. It's like a cliche fest. The reporter throws it back to the studio anchors and they all start laughing at ANYTHING.....and of course the weatherman takes the blame for everything.. AHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

Swiffering for gold

In Conan O'Brian's final show monologue he advised everyone "not to be too cynical".. He must have never seen women's curling at the Winter Olympics. Watching the Olympics during a weekday is a new time-killing low point. During prime time you get to see skiing, skating and the psychotic luge contests. (gee, a guy died going 90 mph on a rocket-fast ice track bordered by huge steel girders?? Not surprising)..

So curling is immensely uninteresting and seems to be some kind of Nordic shuffleboarding. You slide some idiotic "stone" on what looks like an icy surface onto what looks like a bulls eye. I'm sure there is some explanation of who wins and why, but who cares? Two of the players, who are holding what looks like Swiffer brooms, brush the area in front of the moving stone helping it along before it gets to the bulls eye.

Listening to the announcers I had a feeling they were former players and lending very specific insight into the many strategies.. STRATEGIES?? I guess they're the same strategies you'd see in say Iron Chef on the food channel or a darts game in an Irish pub. Those two events never made it to the Olympics. The only similarity with these two and curling is you don't have to be in shape or have any athletic prowess - except for Swiffering like a lunatic..

I think I'll check the Olympics TV schedule to see when those skiers with the rifles start racing. It always reminds me of one of those James Bond movies where 007 parachutes off the end of a giant cliff.

I wonder if when the curling team goes up for their medals they bring their favorite Swiffers??